This Time
by tattedheart
Summary: A new dribblish I started to keep my time. Emmett never stays long in one place, a modern day nomad. Riley has all sorts of ties to his hometown and could never imagine living anywhere else.
1. Chapter 1

I take a long pull from my bottle and choke on the amber liquid, shooting it across the top of the bar. Jasper pats my back with a curious look.

"You okay there man?" I wipe the liquid off my chin and nod my head in the direction of the door. Jasper is as stunned as I am.

"Do you think he knows this is a gay bar?" he asks

"My god I hope so, doubtful but I hope to hell he does." The man that walked in has every head in the place turned. Some in awe, some in fear, but me it was all lust.

"Well I am sure he will figure it out soon when half the guys in here start hitting on him." I will be fighting them off to be first in line.

He had to be at least 6'5, short blonde hair with muscles upon muscles. His arms sporting tattoos that disappear under his tight shirt sleeves. He looks around the place before taking a seat at the bar. I am frozen to my spot.

Jasper's slap on the back jars me from the X rated thoughts running through my mind.

"He's waiting to be served Riley, go get him tiger."


	2. Chapter 2

There is a silent hum when I walk in. I get it every time I walk in to a new gay bar. From one side of the country to the other I have been in plenty of them.

I may not look like your typical gay man but there is not a thing in the world that could get me to sleep with a woman, never have never will.

Sizing up the place I see some good looking guys but I'm not really here for a piece of ass, I just want a cold beer and a minute to relax. I'd been riding for the past three days to get across country in time to start my next job. I made it a day early and now I need to unwind. Throwing my jacket on a stool I take the one next to it, I look up to the tv to catch a few scores and wait for service.

"Um ah what can I get ya." I hear, with my eyes still on the tv I order a beer. When it is placed in front of me I look up and my mouth drops. I am looking into the most gorgeous face I have ever seen.

What was I saying about a piece of ass.


	3. Chapter 3

His eyes sparkle with interest, that question is answered. "That'll be three bucks."

I am mesmerized by the flex of his bicep and the pull of his shirt across his chest as he reached for his wallet. I follow the line of muscles across his chest over his shoulder and down his colorful arm. I was fascinated by his long fingers on his large hand as he plucked a five out of his wallet and slid it across the bar.

His throat clearing brought me out of my stupor. "Keep the change." he winked at me and returned his attention to the tv.

After a mental slap I put my self in motion grabbing the five and moving to the cash register. My eyes dart to his image in the mirror. Taking him in in profile I am gob smacked, he has a strong jaw, with a small clef in his chin, plump lips that beg to be nibbled on, a small straight nose and lord help me perfect ears. Body and looks have me lusting but perfect ears have me panting.

Making my way back to the end of the bar where my best friend is sitting I try my best to keep my eyes off of the mystery man at the end of the bar.

"Well?" Jasper asks bouncing in his seat.

"Good tipper, gay, and I think interested." I take a long much needed drink from my beer.

"Damn it if I wasn't engaged I would be fighting you on this one."


	4. Chapter 4

I tried not to look at his ass as he turned to the til, but not very hard. I had to know if the back was as good as the front. It was. I tried to keep my eyes trained to the tv but I failed, I stole glances at him in the mirror and once or twice I think I caught him watching me.

I can't say what it is about him that I am so drawn to, I am usually one to go for eyes that match me. If not at least in size then by style. I don't see a spot of ink on him and no peircings to be seen. Of course those can be hidden, mmm I would love the chance to go on the hunt.

But as far as I can tell he is a pretty clean cut normal looking guy. Sandy blonde hair recently cut it seems, clean shaven, standard bar tender clothes, black T and tight dark jeans with a white towel thrown over his shoulder. Pretty standard, across the country but there was something about him, his eyes I think, they were the most unusual shade of brown, and they were sparkling with life.

In my line of work you don't see spark like that very often. Watching him at the end of the bar talking with another guy, I watched as he gulped his beer. Watching the liquid slide down his throat I had to adjust myself.

Looks like I found my bar.


	5. Chapter 5

Tossing my keys in the dish by the door I toe off my shoes and start unloading my pockets. It was another crazy night at the bar, it started off slow but just like every Thursday the crowd swells, the music gets louder and the drinks flow fast.

The tattooed sex god only stayed for one but I made the most of that one drink taking in as much of him as I could. Making my way through my loft I pull my beer soaked shirt over my head and pop the buttons on my jeans as started the shower.

I think about his body and wonder where all his ink is. I let the water pour over me as I think about counting his abs with my tongue. I let the soapy suds aid in relief as I wonder if he is cut, if he has metal. I brace my self on the wall regaining my breath as I wonder what his name is. I fall into bed hoping I will see him again.


	6. Chapter 6

As promised the keys to the apartment were in the mail box, I looked in the shop window before climbing the stairs to my new temporary home. The life I lead isn't for everyone, being a nomad of sorts will take it's toll on most. Me I enjoy it, I travel from shop to shop when ever a friend asks or there is a demand for my talents.

This time an old friend called in a favor. I owed her for getting my ass out of jail in Canada a few years back. So here I am happy to help out for a few months while her old lady is having a kid.

Tossing my bag on the couch I look around the place, it's not to bad, nothing fancy just a loft with and old couch and table, bed in the corner. Looking in the fridge I see it has been lightly stocked, grabbing a beer I wonder over to the window and think back to the blonde at the bar.

I wanted to stay longer but I was afraid it would do permanent damage to my cock. I adjust myself a bit as I remember earlier. I could feel his eyes on me, and I really wanted to feel his hands on me.

Shower time, time to relieve the pressure a bit. After picturing him on his knees sucking me off I fisted myself harder, thinking about bending him over the couch and driving him to scream my name I yelled out and prayed the wall were thick.

It is rare that I sleep with someone where I am going to be staying for any length of time, but I think I might make an exception this time.


	7. Chapter 7

Some days I really hate having a day job. I love it I really do but working til close at the bar then having to get up Friday morning and pulling a nine to five took it's toll. It isn't really nine to five it's more of an eight to three.

Glad that I have the habit of showering at night I hit the button on the coffee maker and hit the bathroom. By the time I am dressed in my work clothes my coffee is done. I grab a cup for now and fill my thermos while I have a bagel hanging out of my mouth. I am gonna need the extra boost today, my sleep wasn't restful, hot as hell yes but not restful.

Each dream of the mystery man got more and more detailed. One of them I am sure I will replay over and over, it was me bent over a couch as his hips thrust wildly driving me mad and having me spilling over the back of the couch and all over the floor.

I woke from that one and reached for the lube. I came almost as much and as hard as I did in the dream. Bracing myself on the counter I take a few calming breaths to get myself under control. There was no way I could go into work in this state.

When I was sure I had it together I sling my bag over my shoulder and make my way out the door. When I reach the bottom of the stairs I see a black motor cycle parked next to my beat to hell Honda.

Looks like Rose's replacement is here. I'll have to stop in before I go into work tonight, mmm work tonight, dare I hope he stops in?

Walking through the door I push all thoughts of tonight out of my head. Sound my whistle I am greeted with the sound of 20 little voices, "Good morning Mr. Beirs."


	8. Chapter 8

Walking into the shop I hear the buzz of the guns and smell the green soap and I am home. Didn't matter the shop, didn't matter the city, the sounds and smells were home to me.

Looking around this has to be one of the nicer shops I've been in. I can see touches of both the owners in the place. There's the typical flash on the walls but there is also a nice black leather couch with red piping and a glass top coffee table. The art I recognize, some from when it was being painted others just by the familiar style. Rose always did have an eye for all things Asian. It's a shame I wont get to work with her. We always worked well together and I really loved inking some of her pieces.

"Hey anybody working here." I yell out and hear the gun cut off.

"I'm always working honey." snapping off her gloves she comes around the corner and grabs me in a hug.

"How the hell ya doing Emm? It has been way to long." I squeeze back careful not to crush her.

"I've been good Rach how about you? Rose pop out that kid yet?" she motions me to the back where she was working.

"Not yet but they say any day now. I can't wait she is driving me nuts since she can't work any more." I can imagine, Rose was never one to enjoy sitting idle. "But her back couldn't take it as long as she did work. Finally the doc said no more. So you think you can fill her place?" She cocks her pierced brow at me.

"I can sure do my best." the inked up native woman pulls a new pair of gloves on and fires her machine back up. "What do you have lined up for me today?

"Just have one, I wasn't sure when you were getting in so you have a 2:30 coming in. Ifo is up front." she pointed towards the counter. "Green folder, and you can set up in Rose's station."

Finding the green folder it had a posted the said Whitlock and the time. Leafing through I see the piece wanted. The mock up is ballet shoes, it isn't bad but I can improve it. I'm sure the woman getting this will be happy.


	9. Chapter 9

Nothing like a room full of sticky fingers and odd questions to keep your mind off of things. All morning I had been to busy keeping 20 five and six year olds on task, but lunch time wasn't as easy. I'm not sure why this one man held my interest so much, I have met plenty of hot guys but my fantasies have never been this bad.

"Earth to Mr. Beirs." Jasper waves his hand in front of my face wildly. Shaking my head I set down my water bottle that was paused halfway to my mouth.

"Oh hey Jas, sorry about that, what were you saying?" He laughs and wads up his napkin.

"I was asking if you could take my playground duty after school, I need to cut out early cuz I have a tatt appointment."

"Sure thing, I don't have to be to the bar til, six tonight." I wanted to get a nap in but another half hour making sure the kids all got home safe was no biggy.

"Thanks man."

The afternoon went fast, no more wandering thoughts. As the bell rings and the kids file out. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket but I have to let it go to voice so I can get all the kids out.

After twenty little high fives I go to the playground and pull out my phone. Punching in my password numbers I wait, it's Jasper.

"Um I gotta make this quick," he is talking in a whisper and I have to plug my other ear to hear him. "dude I am at my appointment and you will never guess who Rose's replacement is. Shit gotta go, get down here ASAP!"

I love my best friend but sometimes he is more of a spazz then even his fiance. Always getting star struck so it is probably some artist I have never heard of. It will be awkward and I will have to mumble hellos and hmm, and aha until I can politely make my leave.

Lucky for me it isn't out of my way since I live above the place, but my chances for a nap are rapidly slipping away from me.

Pulling into my parking spot I leave my bag in the car and round the front of the building. The bell dings and Rachel's head shoots around the corner. "Heya Riley, what brings you by, come to see how Jas's tattoo is coming along?"

"Something like that." no need to tell her I am here to scope out what ever top name artist she has here.

"They're back in Rose's shute, go on back." she goes back to who ever she is working on.

Rounding the corner I hear Jasper chatting away and another voice responding with short answers. As the man straightens from hovering over the table and rolls his neck it hits me, I know those ears.


	10. Chapter 10

With Rachel's help I got the sketch just how it was wanted. I had been working all morning on beautifully done ballet slippers, with long flowing satin ties. But she spotted it and corrected me that they were suppose to be mens ballet slippers, well worn men's shoes. I thought it an odd choice until the client walked in.

"Whitlock, I'm here for my 2:30." it's the guy from the bar, not THE guy but his friend, for some stupid reason I look behind him in what? hope that his friend is with him? He's not.

"Emmett McCarty." I stick out my hand and he takes it.

"Jasper, so did you have time to sketch up what I asked for?" he keeps looking at me while trying not to look at me, it is kind of weird, spastic almost especially with how his finger tips are drumming on the phone in his left hand.

"I think I came up with something here for ya." I slide the stencil across to him and show him the finished sketch. "What ya think?"

He looks at it for a few minutes before passing it back. "Perfect, exactly what I wanted."

Leading him to the back I leave him briefly to gather supplies and check in with Leah.

"Hey Rach" I loud whisper

"What up?"

"Are you sure this guy is stable? He seems kind of weird?"

Rachel laughs at me, "He better be he's engaged to my brother."

"That's Seth's guy?" she nods at me. Then she must know the other one but I am not gonna ask, I just file it away as I gather the colors I need. I haven't decided if I want to break my rule, so no giving her any clue about what I am interested in doing.

After he calmed down a bit Jasper was an okay guy. I found out he was a teacher, fourth grade, but he had been a ballet dancer til he blew a knee in a car accident. He talked about his other tattoos, the dumbest he has is a ketchup bottle on his leg that he lost a drunk bet.

"So you actually tried to chase a bottle of Beam with a bottle of ketchup?" I had to actually sit up and compose myself, didn't want to ink him with a hand shaking in laughter.

It felt good to laugh and stretch, I rolled my neck popping in a couple spots. Then I heard the gasp.

I turned around and was blessed with the sight that got me off three times last night.

"Riley glad you could stop in!" Rachel's hug and kiss were matched but his eyes were on me the whole time.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ok for got to put in one oof these earlier but better late then never. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. This is a new dribblish that came to me when I was writing a contest o/s. I really got into the pairing when I read Pretty in Pink (look it up!) and didn't really find much. I was going to wait for the contest to be over and that o/s posted but I can't hold off when i have 10+ chapters sitting there. This is all un beta'ed all mistakes are mine. There are lemons and it is boy on boy. Oh ya and I own only my naughty ideas! **

Rachel finished up she was working on and came and knocked me out of my stupor with a hug and a kiss. I returned them but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. When I did my eyes slid to Jasper behind him. The jack ass winked at me.

I allowed myself to be pulled to the front by Rachel and frankly I was grateful for it. She jabbered away about Rose and the baby and about workmen coming in next week, about everything but the man in back.

My eyes betrayed me though I know because I feel my chin pinched between Rachel's fingers and my face turned to hers.

"I know that look, but best not even go down that road." my heart falls a bit, and my mouth drops open and flaps a bit. Rachel shakes her head. "He doesn't do relationships and he never sleep with someone in the town where he is working."

"Who, ah, who um how, ah.."

Rachel laughs and shakes her head at me. "His name is Emmett and I have known him since art school, I met Rose through him actually."

"So he's bi then?" she knows I only date gay men. So maybe this is for the best, nip it in the bud before I let my fantasies run wild.

"Oh no, he is gay, very gay. The thought of being with a woman sets him off. I just know how he is. Doesn't stay in one place long but since he usually works with friends he keeps it in his pants."

"Shame." Rachel laughs at me and we do a bit more catching up as I wait on Jasper to be done. I hope to introduce myself at least to him but don't get the chance. As Jasper comes out front I see him pause with a smoke hanging off his bottom lip. I get an almost angry look from him before he turns and punches his way through the back door.

Rachel turns to me looking to the door then back to me. "Hmm interesting." that is all I get from her.

"What?" She gets up as someone comes in the shop. "Rach? What..."

I look to Jasper but he is as clueless as I am.

"What you looking at doll face?" her brow is arched and her t


	12. Chapter 12

There is no way in hell I should even be thinking about him, let alone be thinking the way I am. I have a rule 'Never fuck where you work' I have never wavered for the rule. Never and this ti,e would be the worst time of them all.

Seeing Rachel and him, Riley, nice to have a name. Seeing them talking I can tell they are close. So this isn't even breaking my same town rule, this is a lot closer then even that.

I watch them there for a moment, he sees me watching him, I feel my expression go tight. Fuck, this is unfair, I want him, Fuck! I push through the back door and fire up my smoke, pulling in the hot smoke and exhaling loudly I have never been more tempted to punch a wall.

By the time I am crushing the butt with my heel I hear the door open and Rachel is standing across from me with her hand on her hip.

"Care to share what's going on?" leaning against the wall next to me she looks up, her dark eyes giving me a whole lot of 'don't fuck with me'. I rub the back of my neck and look up, we are standing under the wooden stairs that lead up to the apartments. I see his boots disappear through the door.

"He lives up there?" Rachel nods "Fuck, Rach, I am fuck that's what is going on."

I'm not really sure how to take the smile she gives me, but I think I have never spoken truer words.

"Why oh why would you say that?" she knows perfectly why.

"I don't know why but I really really want him. But you know my policy, I... I can't.. I don't even.. and he's your friend... tenant..."

Rachel puts a hand on my chest hard, "How about you try more then a fuck every now and then and actually get to know someone."

She glares at me and I match her stare down. She may be small but I feel myself backing down, my stare wavers for the briefest moment.

"Thought so." I am left staring at the old wood screen door bouncing closed a few times until it stops completely and I am alone again.

Looking above me at the wooden stairs I feel something strange coming.


	13. Chapter 13

After the door finished rocking and Rachel had kissed my forehead I sat there for a minute. I had no fucking clue what the hell just happened but Jasper was smiling at me.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked him.

"No clue bro but I think you may want to look extra hot for work tonight." he was laughing as he pulled the door open and waited for me.

I was in a trance as I rounded the corner, I was on auto as I grabbed my bag out of the car and climbed the stairs. I hadn't even realized I what I was doing until I stood in a towel in front of my closet. Finally I snapped out of it, grabbing my best jeans, the ones I usually save for when I am really broke and need the tips, and my light grey work shirt that hugs my chest and shows off my piercings.

I know I'm probably going to regret this, even if I get his attention. I'm not sure I think he may even be annoyed by me given his display at the tattoo shop. But Rachel's comments had me intrigued.

It has been a long time since I have had a casual hook up and even longer since I have had a real relationship. There is just something about him and there is a voice in the back of my head saying go for it.

Somewhere in the past hour the part of me that usually screams 'Danger Will Robinson' has been blocked. Some time in the past 24 hours all rational thought has left me.

And hopefully somewhere between shift start and morning light I will know every inch of that mans body.


	14. Chapter 14

I knew I should have listened to my rationale, I should have heeded all the warning bells going off in my head.

"Don't go there!" it screams at me. "Remember the rules" it chants. "Don't, no matter what your dick says open that door." it is yelling.

I almost listen to them, then I hear the door across the hall open, "Don't you dare look through that peep hole." it chastises.

I look, fuck, that ass. What the hell is he doing, does he realize the attention he will get in those jeans? "Of course he does idiot. He works in a bar. Damn!" rationale is coming on my side.

Switching to look out the front window I let out a his. He is jogging across the street, his hair getting damp from the ever present Washington rain. "Look at those shoulders in that shirt." rationale whimpers. He looks both ways before finishing crossing. "Let's lick that jaw" it moans.

He disappears through the door. "Fuck" I let out a deep sigh and stomp to the fridge. I crack a beer and then another. I flip through the channels, nothing ever good on a Friday night. Throwing the remote down I pace to the window, throwing it open I light up a smoke and look across the street. I see a group of good looking younger guys going into the bar. They are all pretty clean cut and most of them from here look attractive.

They hoot and holler, I waving the direction that I know is the bar. I hear one yell something about Riley's ass. I throw my butt out the window and slam it shut. Looking at the clock I see it switching over to ten.

"Fuck this." I march into the bathroom and start the shower.


	15. Chapter 15

The crowd is filling out just like every Friday. There aren't a lot of gay bars in the area and even fewer that aren't dance joints and hook up spots. It has never been advertised that Charlie's was a gay bar, but most people in the area know it is. Charlie my uncle and his partner Billy opened the place over twenty years ago with the money Billy received in a settlement after he was left in a wheel chair from a botched surgery.

They are still in town, they still own the bar but they leave the dealing to us younger guys now. Jake their only son does most of the managing and book work and Paul, Quil and I rotate on tending bar. We have a good mix of gay and straight for the most part but by this time on the weekend it is geared more towards the same sex variety.

I was hopeful he would hae shown but as the clock inches closer to both hands on the twelve I feel disappointment creep in. I could have sworn he would be here. But Rachel's word creep back in and I can't see a guy like him going back on his creed.

"What can I get ya Tyler?" Since the noys came in Tyler has been bellied up to the bar trying to get my attention. I won't go there, he and Jasper dated years ago and I heard he had a habit of crying after sex. He is good looking enough, an Asian and African mix with somehow beautiful hazel eyes, but I have never been able to go there in my head.

"Same, and you in my bed." He was getting more then a little drunk on Morgan cokes since he came in two hours ago, hollering about my ass.

"The drink I can do but.." The words die on my tongue and I hear him let out a startled cry as my hand jumps spraying him with coke.

"Oops" Emmett smirks as he passes by us and moves to Paul's end of the bar.

Seeing him Tyler's attention is diverted from the cold soda and my chest as he follows mine and a good dozen other's gazes.

"Riley who the FUCK is that?"

I watch as he sheds his leather and sits down. He is in a skin tight v-neck T almost the same shade as mine, tucked into faded jeans with a wide studded black belt. He settles on his stool and I follow down his body, his jeans outline every strong firm muscle in his thighs before the fan out slightly, my eyes wander further until I see as he rests his foot on the lower rung of the stool. "fuck" biker boots. Mmmm

"Ri?"

"That Tyler is sin and he is all mine." I growl out shoving his drink in front of him and glaring at him. "On the house."


	16. Chapter 16

All through my shower I warred with myself. Told myself I was being stupid. This was fucked up. I mentally kicked my own ass as I grabbed out a T that just happened to match his. Called myself every name in the book as I slipped on my boots then did a couple of push ups to bulk me a up a bit more.

Told myself this was a big mistake as I slip on my leather and slipped out the door. I berated myself as I rounded the building and my boot hit the curb. I even paused, well I like to think I paused as my hand felt the cold chrome of the handle in it's palm. I can't lie even to myself there was no pause.

As the heat of the damp bodies and the swell of music and voices hit me just inside the door, I drowned it all out and all my senses were trained to him.

A green monster swelled up in me as I saw a pretty little boy flirting with him as he grabbed the empty glass and began to fill it.

I'm not proud of myself, okay I am a little, when I walked over and made myself known. Causing him to spray the pretty boy with the sugary substance. Serves the guy right for not drinking a real drink.

I felt his eyes on me as I made my way to the other end of the bar and took my seat. I watched him for the next hour. He would catch me watching and when he did he would falter in his moves. There was more then one tap overfilled and mixed drink made wrong.

I should feel like shit for flubbing him but I didn't. It, in my mind was a pay back for making me want him so badly.

He chatted with everyone and when trying to avoid my gaze he seemed that he was truly interested in what each of his patrons had to say. He was nothing I was use to in a bartender. Most fain interest, like it is in a handbook or something, but Riley seemed really to care with each one of them had to offer.

I would be lying to myself for the millionth time tonight if I didn't say it did something to me every time someone would flirt with him. I had my feet woven into the bar of my stool just to keep myself in my seat. But every time another flirtatious advance was made I was fearful I would walk out of this place with shards of class in my palm.

"I'm so fucked" I mumble under my breath.

"I think that can be arranged." I look up into a guy about my size with short dark hair, russet skin and deep soulful eyes.

I search for words. He is gorgeous sure, he is built that is for damn sure, and I am more then sure I could have a good time with him, but he isn't what I want. Just as I am searching for words I hear from the end of the bar loud and clear.

"He doesn't do locals Jake, back off."

How the fuck...


	17. Chapter 17

I watch him, watch me all night. Every time I glanced his way his eyes were on me. Every time I had someone order a drink, flirt and tip well I found they didn't return. I would look down twenty minutes later and see Paul serving them. I was getting pissed.

For someone that hasn't said more then keep the change to me, he had a fuck ton of nerve. So I amped up the flirting. I flexed my arms a bit more, found every excuse to show off my ass. Yup I had my moves too.

I was down right pissed when I saw Jake approach him. Sure technically Jake was single right now, but that was only because Embry was pissed at him for buying the new bike. They had only been separated a few days and Jake was just making sure he still had it. Jake knows as well as I do he will be back in his own bed by the end of the weekend. Those two were forever breaking up and making up. They are the type that give gay men a bad name and the reason the term 'The Gays of Our Lives' was coined.

I know it was a bitch ass move to yell across the bar at Jake but some how I couldn't stop myself.

I saw him stiffen, I saw his eyes tighten then he whispers something to Jake. Now it was Jake's turn to stiffen, in more then one way if his retreat is any indication. I try to keep the the green eyed monster at bay, but it isn't easy.

Twenty minutes before last call he stands, making a production of putting on his jacket. Ok probably not a production but in my eyes anything this man does deserves a film crew. Throwing a bill on the bar he waves good-bye to Paul and makes his way out the bar. Bye the enthusiastic knock Paul gives on the bar it was a large tip. His wink as he passes me does nothing but piss me off.


	18. Chapter 18

So flirting with the pretty native was probably not the nicest thing to do, but neither was his announcing to the whole town my business. The look on Riley's face was the one I was going for though.

All night I tried to keep my distance, sat at the other end of the bar. Kept my oggling to a minimum and tried to keep my thoughts on the fact that I couldn't have him. He kept to his end of the bar and switched between lustful glances to shooting daggers.

Chanting in my head the rule for nearly two hours helped. But then as I was putting on my coat I watched him watching me. My eyes traveled from his face and down his chest and my eyes froze mid chest, fuck, how did I not notice, his tight shirt clearly showed two bar bells through tight pebbled nipples.

Punching my way out the bar I was pissed off and turned on. Lighting a smoke I stomp my way across the street and pace the alley. I flick my butt at the brick wall, I kick the dumpster, and I pace some more. I pull at my hair and curse a few times, I light another and flop down on the stairs.

I give up. If the pull is this strong and I don't even know him I am sure I will defenseless once I actually do talk to him. There is always the option of avoiding him. I can find another bar, stay in the back if he comes into the shop, use the peephole before I leave my place to make sure he isn't in the hall. Then I hear the shuffle of pebbles on the asphalt, I look up and he is walking sown the alley. The closer he gets the more my head screams no. His hands are in his front pockets I can see the lean muscle in his arms and his broad shoulders. Tight jeans revealing an impressive package. No my head screams.

He is mere steps away and I am up and grabbing him by the neck, smashing my lips to his. There is a spark, a crackle in the air around us and we both moan. His hands shoot to my hips as teeth nip and tongue roll together. Teeth clash and I lower my stance so our hips grind together. We are both straining hard, I angle my head so I can deepen the kiss. My hand starts to travel down his back almost to his ass.

Then were are apart, he pushes me back. In my shock of the aftermath of that kiss I am easily pushed against the wall. I rub my lips trying to relieve the sting I feel on them. I don't even realize I am standing alone in the alley until I hear the door above me closing and one further in slamming.


	19. Chapter 19

I'm not sure why I ran, it was what I had planned from the start of the night. Get the guy and get him naked. But the minute we were locked together I panicked. This was to much and not enough all rolled into one.

My lungs were on fire, I could feel a prickling sensation all over my body and my skin burned where ever we touched. Something about it was wrong even though it felt so right.

Then it hit me, this was to much to be casual and to much between two people that haven't even spoken to each other really. He hasn't even said hi to me. So I ran.

Locked in my loft, shoes kicked off, shirt off, I pace. I can still feel his lips on mine. I can taste his cigarette on my tongue. I pull my hair and grab a beer. I down the beer and take a shower. I get off fast and hard. I groan and punch the tile.

I lay in bed and toss and turn. I resolve it wont happen again. He doesn't stay long, he doesn't get involved with locals. I can't see myself leaving and I can't do casual. Not even for him.

I wont dress for him tomorrow, I wont let him get to me if he is there. He will be just another patron and I will be just another bartender. I drift off and I wish I could control my dreams.

I stand behind the bar, jeans just as tight as last night, shirt even tighter. Every sense on alert. He comes in earlier then last night. He looks tired, like he has been up all night warring with himself. He sits at the bar, right in front of me giving me an almost shy smile.

"Hi"


	20. Chapter 20

I stood in the alley for another hour, I walked in a trance up stairs and was in the shower before I even had a conscious thought. The first thought I did have was the feeling of Riley in my arms as I had my fist around my cock. I got off fast and hard and got absolutely no enjoyment out of it.

I toss and turn and give up on sleep by the time the third dream of velvet lips and haunting eyes played though. Luckily work busy and kept my thoughts off of him. I will not go back to the bar. I will get a six pack and a movie and lock myself inside. Or I will jump on my bike and take a road trip a few miles down the road and find a warm body. Yeah that is all I need a warm body and a few hours of nameless faceless sex.

I tell myself that, it's a lie. I shower and shave, dress and grab my coat and keys. Down the stairs I keep my eyes trained on my bike. Yes, get on it feel the draw of the road, find a random face in a generic bar. My feet hit the pavement and I walk towards my bike. I reach it and my keys go in my pocket and my feet carry me across the street.

I make no play at ignoring him tonight. Tonight I take a seat right in front of him.

"Hi"

"Hi" he replies.

"I'm Emmett."

"I know. I'm Riley."

"I know." he smiles and I smile back. Yup I am totally fucked.

Riley gets me a beer and apologies for the crowd keeping him busy. I tell him it's okay and truly it is. Tonight is different, there is no game being played. We both know who I am here to see.

I should be scared, this is everything I don't do, but for some reason I am fine. Nervous as hell but okay with it. I could tell myself we can just be friends but even I can't believe that one. Maybe we can keep it casual, friendship and sex, no strings. It has never worked in the past, but maybe this time I won't leave a broken heart when I leave.

I play out in my head how to go about this. I think I have it clear in my head, then I hear Riley laugh with someone down the bar. His head is thrown back and his eyes are sparkling, something in my gut twists. There's the fear, I knew it was in there somewhere.

Maybe I can't do this, I stand up and reach for my jacket. I feel the walls closing in, I need to get out of here. I turn but before I can even make it a step I feel a cool hand grab mine. I turn and see hurt and pleading in his eyes.

"Emmett, don't go." the twist is there again along with a funny flopping feeling. I remove my jacket and sit back down.

"Ok Riley." I am rewarded with a sweet smile, and more flopping.

"I only have another twenty on my shift. Pauls going to close tonight." it is a statement but it comes out sounding more like a question. He waits for me to respond.

"I'll be here, promise. I'm not going anywhere."


	21. Chapter 21

After the shock of him being there wore off I relaxed. I knew he was watching me but it was different then last night. Tonight it was like he was watching me trying to figure something out. Sometimes when I looked up he was watching me, other times he was picking at the label of his beer scowling. Like he was at war with himself.

When he stood and grabbed his jacket I full out panicked. I knew if he walked out the door that was it, it was over before it began.

He agreed to stay but it had me on edge. I kept my eyes on him almost constantly, like if I close my eyes he with disappear. Thankfully he didn't.

Grabbing my split of the tips I round the bar and pause beside Emmett'e stool. "Ready?"

He nods and follows me out the door. We don't touch but I can feel the heat of him on the bare arms. I can smell the leather of his jacket in the damp night air. Beneath the leather I smell him, it goes straight to my dick.

We are silent all I can hear is our breathing and footsteps. When we get to the stairs he stops and turns to me. He lifts his hand and I think he is going to touch me, but it just hovers in the air beside my face. He drops his hand and his breathing picks up. We stare at each other for what seems like eons before he finally breaks the silence.

"I don't do relationships." he searches my face like he wasn't so sure.

"I don't do casual." I am certainly not feeling so sure.

"Where do we go from here?" he asks. His face is a mixture of so many emotions. Scared, pride, affection, lust. His brow creases causing a v to form between his brows.

"Upstairs." I start to climb the stairs and after a heart beat or two I feel him behind me.

**A/N: I hate to cliffie it here but I need to go find an outfit for one of my bff's bdays this weekend. So this is it for a few hours. But i do promise much much more later tonight! Ta for now!**


	22. Chapter 22

I have no clue what I am doing, it is like a foreign being has taken over my body. I don't do this, I don't give in to pleading, I don't jump in not knowing who has the upper hand. Should either of us have the upper hand? The mans man in me says "fuck yes you should!" but the softer spot somewhere in me that looks into those sparkling eyes says, "Woah caveman back the fuck up".

So I wait and hear him climb a step, then another, I flash back to the night before when I was locked out. I take the steps two at a time until I am one behind him. I could put space between us and enjoy the view but right now I need to be close. I can't miss the heat of his skin, the smell of him under the stale booze, or risk the chance that to many steps between us could result in a closing door with him on the other side.

I got enough view tonight, now is the time to be close. We reach the space between our door, we are both stock still. Neither knowing what to do next.

"What now?" Riley asks me, cocking his head. I almost laugh, but I know better and don't.

"I don't know. We both laid it out there. I know you don't shit where you eat so to speak."

I bark out a laugh, "Well damn bit don't hold back now."

"It's the truth though, right?"

I rub my neck and shift on my feet, how to answer, tell the truth? Yes I don't? Lie and say the rumors are wrong? Tell him what is really going on in my head? I am not even sure.

"Riley I don't know what you know about me.."

"I know what Rachel has told me. You don't stay and you don't get involved with anyone in the town you work in. Especially friends of friends, and as you told me you don't do relationships. Well sorry to burst your bubble but I am the holy trinity of those."

Yup no nonsense, I really wish I wasn't so fucking attracted to him. Because Riley is someone I could really keep as a loyal friend. Who am I kidding there would never be just friends with him.

"I'm not sure it matters."

His face twists through emotions and settles on a mocking grin. His look is humorous and vile at the same time.

"You know I'm hot, you know I have a nice face and a nice ass. You know that for once you want to fuck what is off limits to you. Maybe you are bored with your "code," he actually makes fucking air quotes. "Maybe the thrill up til now of faceless and mostly nameless has worn off, maybe now you actually have grown so bitter you need to fuck and feel, feel the thrill of the untouchable til now, feel the power of leaving a mark other then the in you..."

I cut him off with my body pushing his to the wall and my lips on his again. Thank the fucking Gods my lips are on his again. I don't know if he is right or wrong but I know that when we are fused like this I don't give a rats ass about code or creed, I don't even care about getting him in bed all I care about is his tongue on mine and his breath feeding me.

With his fingers digging into my arms and him pushing back to me I know I am not only horny as hell but I am home.

**A/n: I have more in my head and I am trying to get it down as soon as I can. There are many distractions at home right now. I want you to know that I promised myself that this story will be completed within the next two week. I know the ending and part of the epi has been written (will tell you more later.) Thank you all for reviewing and alerting! 3**


	23. Chapter 23

I know I shouldn't have pushed his buttons like I did, but there was no other way to get what I wanted. I know the type of man he is and I know it is wrong to make him break his rules in life but I will endure the heart break when he walks away. I will take what I can of him even if it breaks me to the point of never being whole again.

I let him push me against my door, I savor the feeling of his hands roaming my body. I hold on tight to his huge arms. Lifting up on the balls of my feet I grind my cock into his, he is big, really big, and hard, very hard. I groan and he whimpers as I grind back and forth creating much needed friction.

My hands move from his arms and thread through his hair pulling his head down so I can deepen the kiss. I am rewarded with his hands moving down my ass and grabbing my thighs. He lifts me up and I gladly wrap my legs around him. We are level now and I break from his lips to nip and lick at his jaw and neck. When I suck hard on the muscle close to his shoulder his head bows back and he growls.

"Fuck Riley, I have to have you." I hum at the idea and kiss my way back up his jaw. Looking at his lust filled eyes I can't remember any of the reasons we shouldn't be doing this.

"Yes"

With me still wrapped around him he opens his door. With my mouth on his neck he kicks it closed. With his mouth back on mine I feel us falling into the bed. With as few separations as possible he strips us both.

I wish I had time to feast on his body, memorize it for the time when he isn't here, but I am past the point of thinking about his skin on mine. I arch up to him as his lips seal around my nipple and I feel the hard ball of his tongue ring glide over it sending shutters through my body.

"Tongue ring ung..." It is all I could manage. Suddenly his mouth is gone and I look down. He smiles up at me I notice for the first time his dimples, oh god dimples. I think my heart stopped.

"You think it feels good on your chest you aint felt nothing yet." His mouth descends rolling the cool ball around just under the head of my cock. My body arches off the bed of its own accord. He runs it up the underside before his mouth covers me completely, and then he hums.

"Holy Fuck!"

**a/n: don't hate me for leaving it there. I hope to get more out tonight but I am prepping to go out of town for the weekend. (KID FREE!) so I will see what I can get out before then. Also I am replacing the last chapter because I fixed the typos. And one last thing sorry for so few posts today. I had a bunch written but at some point the story rewrote itself.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I am very sorry in the delay, I was out of town, while away I was sick and went to the dr. when I got back. I have been dealing with some medical issues since. I am on the mend and finally feeling like myself again. I wanted to finish my Steel chapter tonight but it is done now waiting on editing, so now I will be pickig up on this one. Sorry for the cliffie but I promise much much more the rest of the week! Feed back is amazing thanks for all the alerts and reviews! 3**

I have never been much on foreplay but I wanted to savor each and every part of Riley. From lips to toes. Having him in my mouth has me close to the edge and I am grateful when he pulls at my hair bringing me back up his body.

"Emmett as amazing that feels I need more, a lot more." I dip my mouth to his as I reach behind him for lube and condoms. My movements cause our cocks to rub together. I am scared I am going to embarrass myself in another minute if I keep it up. Grabbing what we needed, I take one last nip at his lower lip before pulling back.

"Are you sure?"

"Stop asking and start doing!" his growl pushes the should's out of my head, especially when he drops his knees to the sides exposing himself and thrusts up to my lube slicked fingers.

The look in his eyes is lust but if I was a better man I would linger on the other look in his eyes. But tonight my head is clouded with the sight and smells of him. I push away the rationale and let myself get lost in the moment.

I let his hips rise higher and his hand on my wrist guide my hand to his tight opening. The minute his hand slides down from my wrist to fingers and guide two of them at once inside him, I am lost to the wet heat. We both shudder and moan, I can't hold back much longer. Two, three, four strokes pushing my fingers in and out of him...

"I need it now... please..." Riley's cries can't be denied. Pulling my fingers from him I am quick to my work getting ready, one hand is in his hair and the other guides me into him. As soon as I push into him we both cry out and I know in that moment... this was a mistake.


	25. Chapter 25

I have no idea why I thought I could do this. Yes it feels good, amazing really, my fingers bite into his large arms, my heels dig into his lower back. His thrusts hitting me in just the right spot to turn the pain to pleasure. My cock is starting to rise again and as his lips seal against my neck I am fully hard.

His hips roll into mine and I arch my head back. I feel myself fast approaching orgasm and move my hands to his jaw. Pulling him from my neck I look into his face, we briefly make eye contact but something in his eyes have me closing mine and looking away.

I fight to get to my peak as his breathing picks up, I think about how much I wanted him earlier. I think about the heat in his eyes, the swagger of his walk, the expanse of his chest. He growls into my neck as his thrusts harder and faster at a new angle. He goes deeper and I get closer, he is too.

"Uhn, fuck." he moans his pleasure and tugs my nipple, twisting my piercing.

"Ahhh" I scream out as I fly over the edge. He pauses, I feel the pulsing as he reaches his end. Our breathing is rough and we stare at each other.

Then I see it, the want, the sadness and the guilt. He slips from me and turns away. A spilt second later I slip out the door.


	26. Chapter 26

Never have I wanted something so badly. I didn't even really know him but I want him. I want to keep him, I want... I just want.

Leaving the bathroom I sink to my knees, the bed is filled with rumpled sheets and his smell. He is gone, and I fucked up. I want to go over to him. I want to tell him I will try, I want to tell him that I want to know him, but I can't.

It will only make it hurt more when I leave. And I will leave, I can't lie to myself and say this time I will stay. It just isn't in my DNA to stay.

I don't do relationships, I told him that. He knew where I stood from the start of tonight. It was hot and fast and hard, but then, then it was intense to intense. I looked in his eyes as I was buried in him and I felt the hope.

I should have trusted in it, instead I had to look away. It felt to right, to real and I was a chicken shit. I couldn't let go and give into to those feelings. So where does that leave me?

I pull to my feet, I think about stripping the bed but instead throw down on the couch. I know I wont sleep anyway.

Sure I told him I don't do relationships but if I am honest with myself he told me he didn't do casual. My taking him to bed like that gave him hope too. I gave false hope, I could tell he was a dreamer. It was how he was made, he was full of life and had a lot to give. To the right person he had a lot of love to give, I'm not that person.

"Why would you let me" I growl to the empty room, and punch the back of the couch. Why the hell would he let me take him like that.


	27. Chapter 27

Sinking down to the tile I berate myself. What the fuck was I thinking. I can't do one night stands, I can't do fuck buddies. I knew from the start that is all I would have, one time. I knew the choice was all mine, I knew I could have his friendship or his body. In the heat of the moment I chose his body and I chose all wrong.

Somewhere it went from enjoying the moment to realizing I wanted to keep this. I thought I saw it in his eyes too. I was a fool. I was just another piece of ass. Sure he broke some little rule of his, but that didn't change what it all was.

I cried and beat myself up until the water ran cold. Shivering I barely dried off before climbing into my bed. Thankfully he hadn't been in my bed, if he had I don't think I would be able to ever lay here again.

After who knows how long I must have drifted to sleep, my last thoughts were telling myself it was okay, hell I didn't even really know him. What a lie.

I wake to a soft tapping on my door. Not loud but persistent, I try to ignore it but it doesn't stop. Finally grumbling to myself I pull on some sweats and pad to the door. Opening it a crack I stand dumbstruck, opening it further.

Emmett's head is shyly bent studying his feet. "Emmett?" finally he looks up and I see his tired, confused face. "Emmett, what are you doing?"

He studies my face for what seems like and eternity before he answers. "I don't know."

I watch him watch me for a few breaths before pushing the door open wide and walking back inside. He waits a few breaths more then I hear his foots steps behind me.

**A/n: much more later today, I need to go to the dr. again and do the mom thing. But there will be more, and them actually *gasp* talking!**


	28. Chapter 28

I didn't sleep, I laid there on the couch and stewed. I beat myself up, then I paced. I went this way and that. I search for answers and came up empty.

I thought about showering, but when I covered my face with my forearm I smelled him there. I smelled like him everywhere. If I was smart I would shower and burn the bedding. I never said I was smart though.

I cover my face with both my arms, I breathe deeply. I smother myself with his scent. I pull them away and stop the torture. I drag myself to the shower. I let the steam and suds wash him away.

I towel off and dress in jeans and a t-shirt. I sit back down on the couch and put my head in my hands. I miss his smell.

"Fuck!" I punch the table in front of me.

I pace and take deep breaths, the room faintly smells of sex. I open the front door and pace the hall, it smells like him. I step out on the stairs for a smoke. I inhale the fresh air, the wind whips up and pulls his scent through his open window.

I go back in my apartment and close the door. I open it and take the few steps to his door. I raise and lower my hand a dozen times over before I begin tapping lightly. A soft quiet tap he might not hear it, some part of me hopes he doesn't but another part is asking what is taking so long.

Just as I am about to turn away I hear him crossing the room. This is it.

I truly don't know what I am doing, I answer that honestly. I study his face, his beautiful, open, honest face. It is tired looking, his eyes rimmed red from crying maybe. I did that. I shouldn't be here he shouldn't let me in.

I am shocked as hell when he opens the door wide and walks to the kitchen area. I wait a moment and follow leaving his door open.

This time I am going to get to know him.


	29. Chapter 29

I should have slammed the door, I should have told him to leave. Filling the coffee maker I turn it on and grab the counter and catch my bearings. What the hell am I doing? Ok I know what I was doing, I was being an idiot. I was once again putting myself in the path of heartbreak.

I calm myself and find my balls. "Coffee?" he doesn't answer. I begin to think he some how left with out me hearing him.

I turn and he is standing there stock still, just looking at me. He could be a statue if I couldn't see his breathing.

"Coffee?" I repeat. He give a small tight nod. "Have a seat."

Silently he sits, not so silently I grab two mugs. I may have slammed the cupboard harder then needed, but I tend to take my anger out on things. Word aren't my strong suit when I am emotional.

Handing him a cup I sit down across from him. "Sorry I don't know what protocol is for morning after meaningless sex. Was I suppose to stay for thirty minutes of awkwardness?"

I see him flinch, I know it is a low blow but it felt good to sting him a bit.

"I'm.."

He cuts me off "no it's fine. I've done my fair share of slipping out before the condom is even off." Now it's my turn to flinch.

"Why are you here Emmett? We got off it was fun, you don't have to talk me off the ledge. I knew the score when I followed you in your place."

"That's not why I'm here." he twist his cup in his hands. I wait, I have a million things I could say but I wait. "I.. it's just.. I don't know. I broke my rule."

I give a humorless laugh. "Well don't worry I'm not gonna fawn all over you or chase you around town begging you to love me. I will pretend it didn't happen. Hell we know nothing about each other. I don't even know your last name."

"McCarty, and your Biers. I know enough to know that I want to know more."

"But what if I don't want to?" I do I'm dying to know but I wont ask. I won't have my heart broken.

He cocks his head at me, "But you do."

"Fuck you, get out."


	30. Chapter 30

I don't move, I will sit and take everything he needs to get out. He dumps his coffee in the sink and storms to the bathroom. I hear the shower, I have been dismissed but I don't move. I hear the shower stop, he's out now. I don't move a muscle.

HE comes out, there is a moment of shock on his face but he ignores me. I still sit. He tries to ignore me for another half hour. Then I start talking.

"I went to school, for art with Rose and Rachel. I have a masters but I fell in love with tattooing the first time I heard a gun and felt it on my skin." He busies himself washing the few dishes leaving the water running. I know he is trying to drown me out, so I talk louder.

"My parents were older very stuffy, they didn't approve, I didn't care. By the end of my first summer after graduation I had most of my first sleeve done and was learning the art."

Riley paces around the room cleaning the already tidy loft. He doesn't look at me, he doesn't show any signs of listening.

"I love classic art but also modern. When I was in school I always thought I would open a gallery."

Riley pauses by the windows.

"I never dated a guy, and have never slept with a woman. I got good fast and had a wandering nature. So my Harley and my gun were my job. I never lacked for work."

Maybe this is the wrong way to go. I change my route.

"I'm 33, I like strawberry over chocolate, I love to read. Next to my bike and tattoo gun my Nook is my most prized possession." Now he turns on the radio. Once again I raise my voice. "I'm an only child, my parents live in New York, they love me even if they hate my career choice. Once I took off on my bike I never have stayed anywhere longer then a few months."

Something snaps inside him and he spins around.

"Why the fuck are you doing this to me? I told you to fuck off so you decide you'll put a big sting in it before you go?"

It might not be the words I want to hear but atleast he's talking to me.

**A/N: And with that I am off to ladies night. I will be back later with more! Muuwaahh!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: sorry folks, my night went crazier then I thought it would, then my mom had to come stay with me and she sucked all creative juices from me. But I am back now and moving right along... enjoy? :)**

I tried to block him out, I didn't want to say another word to him. The minute he started talking I tried not to focus on his words. I do math in my head, can still hear him. I plan out my school plan, I still hear him. I sing asinine songs loud and off key in my head, I still hear him.

I can't figure out his game, each fact stings and cuts deeper. Why can't he just walk away, why would he be sharing all of this with me. I know his rules, this isn't him, he doesn't share and he doesn't stay.

When he points that out himself I snap. I think he will finally get a clue and leave, he doesn't. The smug bastard has the nerve to actually smile a bit.

"What I am doing is breaking all the rules. I slept with you, that was a no no, I let myself give a damn that I used you, even bigger no no! And now I am here laying myself out there, letting someone in, someone that isn't just a friend."

I laugh humorously at that. "That's right, we aren't friends. We fucked, we got off, I wanted it as much as you did, there was no using involved and now you can march back across the hall and close the door. I won't let your lapse in judgment tarnish your clean record." I will not be made into the poor wronged little boy. "You can go about your business in town with out worry that I will be around every corner begging you to stay and love me."

Shaking his head at me he stands and leaves, he leaves my door open and I never hear his closed. In I huff I follow behind and close mine, as I do he starts talking.

"When I was 14 I thought I would run away and join a rock band. Didn't matter I can't carry a tune in a bucket and can't play a single instr..." I slam the door shut and up the music.


	32. Chapter 32

Thing about me is I don't give up. I have never wanted to let it all out there for anyone. I have no clue why I do now but I do, so I am.

Riley wants to be stubborn, want to show he is tough. I get that, I can't even imagine facing someone like me. I have laid it out there, I'm a dick, an ass, a fucking prick. I have said it myself I don't do staying, I don't fuck friends or friends of friends. I take my shit elsewhere. But Something in the night shook me awake. Told me stop your fucking around and get to know someone both ways.

True it would have been better to know him then sleep with him, but I have never done thing the conventional way. So here I am going about my Sunday, unpacking, rearranging, wasting time, while I tell random bits about me. A story here, a stupid fact there. At first I feel like a complete idiot but then after an hour or so it feels natural. Like I am reminding myself too of who I am.

Somewhere around four I am on the subject of movies.

"I've always preferred classic horror. Zombie's are the bomb, I have seen just about everyone ever made..." My door is slammed shut. I smile, and I open it back up and continue talking.

Somewhere around seven I am on food.

"I really love seafood but not fish really, you know what I mean? I love scallops, I make a killer shrimp and scallop alfre.." I laugh as the door slams again.

I head for my satchel and grab out my hammer and screw driver. I keep talking as I work.

"I put in mushrooms and spinach, I know not a lot of people like them but the way I make it is amazing. Trust. And my garlic bread..."


	33. Chapter 33

I think headphones, fuck I left them at work. I try upping the stereo, after 14 on the dial the speakers protest and have a hum that gives me a head ache. I spend so much time in the bathroom I have done everything you can do in there, including being girly and taking a bubble bath.

He's still talking, I slam his door and get mere seconds of relief and then I hear him again. I do it again and stomp back in my apartment slamming the door. Then I hear the tapping of metal on metal. I want to look, I do, but then I hear him talking again and I am once again pissed.

After banging around making as much noise as I can I give up. I hear him. He is sharing some things that really have me wanting to know more to the story. He shares things that have me laughing to myself.

"So she wanted to go out to the drive in, I knew what she wanted, so I actually told her I had to stay home and wash my hair. She still didn't get it. I waslike fuck this bitch just doesn't get that I don't play that way."

It was one of many, I finally climb into bed as his voice is sounding horse from talking to me all day. I have to admit I kind of liked listening to him talk me to sleep.

I woke and it was silent, blissfully but sadly silent. I have no clue what time he stopped talking, but I am aware of my dreamless sleep. Like my mind was soaking up everything he might say so it doesn't dare dream.

For some reason I am quiet getting ready for work. I don't know if I am waiting on his voice again, maybe it is so he can rest since he spent so much time entertaining me yesterday. I make up my coffee and dress for work, I find myself frowning at the quiet.

I beat myself up over caring. I grab my coffee and bag, make sure I have my keys and lesson plans. I lock my door and turn to head out.. and I freeze. That explains the metallic noise, Emmett's door rests on it's side in the hall.

I pass telling myself I wont look, I don't listen to myself and look. His couch is closer to the door, there is a beer on the floor, and he is curled up sleeping facing the door. I tell myself not to watch, I tell myself to head out the door. I don't listen I stand there in the door way. I watch I tak in all of him.

He looks so innocent in his sleep, despite the tattoos, and the size. I see past what most want and take in the little boy that loves strawberry ice cream, and has never kissed a girl. I imagine the sweet teenage boy that spent his time in museums instead of on the football field much to the coaches dismay.

I realize what he had been telling me was starting to really sink in. I push it out of my mind and head out the door.

**a/n: Ok I think that is it for today. I do know what is next but I think I am gonna call it a night and watch some netflix! I will be back tomorrow! 3**


	34. Chapter 34

I go to work I come home and start talking. If I can hear he isn't home I draw, or cook, or just think. As soon as I hear him on the stairs I start telling a new story or just ramble. He never responds, as he passes my door I see his step falter a time or two but he never looks at me.

It is strange how it comforts me to talk to someone that probably isn't listening, someone that doesn't talk back. Sure I would love it if he would, but I will take this, it's what I deserve. I have done it enough times to know, I have not listened as someone I slept with a few times gets chatty after sex. I have blocked out their personal stories that only served to try and pull me in to something more.

I feel like half of an old married couple, like the ones where they have been together 50 years and you have a good idea that the non talker has shut off his hearing aid.

Day after day I talk, every night I sleep on the couch facing the open door. I keep the nice sweet stories for the night. I lower my tone and hope he can still hear me. I like the idea of him falling asleep to the sound of my voice, I want to fall asleep to the sound of his.

Days become weeks, almost three now. I am out of work early and stop at the grocery store buying two of everything I need. Everything is separated half on my counter half in from of his door. Scribbling out a note I leave it in front of his door.

I hear his car, I hear the door slam, I hear another open and close. I hear his feet on the stairs, the jingle of his keys. I'm tense, I wipe my sweaty hands on my pants. Two deep breaths...

"So this chick comes in to the shop today and wanted me to tattoo her, she wanted a tramp stamp. Not any old tramp stamp but you know those old wooden stamps for like, past due, or paid in full. Yeah well she wanted me to do that on her lower back. Took me forever to talk her out of it." I hear the opening of his door and the rustling of the plastic shopping bags. Then I hear the soft click of his door closing.

"So even though I think they are kind of trashy I talked her into some nice roses and ivy. Turned out pretty nice."

I ramble on for another hour before deciding to start cooking.

"This is one of the first things I learned to cook. I burned it more times then I can count but I eventually learned about turning down the heat. It is really easy but tastes like it took hours to make."

I smell a similar smell coming down the hall and I smile. I hear a soft click and dare to look sown the hall. I feel like my smile is going to break my face when I see his door open a few inches and stop. It's a start.


	35. Chapter 35

Resistance isn't easy. I try not to listen but after a week, it is comforting. I never say anything, it will hurt enough when he leaves me with all his memories and stories. I don't want to share myself with him too, knowing he knew all about me and left anyway.

I work, he works, the one sided conversation starts as soon as we are both in the building.

"So I," that is how he usually starts every evening. "seventeen and thought I would turn eighteen and take off to Europe, you know see all great paintings and get my education through seeing the world. Ya that idea didn't stick long, dad put his foot down. I pouted and actual went a bit emo for awhile." he laughs as if he has a picture of him in his emo phase in front of him.

"That didn't last long either, I got tired of poking myself in the eye every morning with eye liner."

Week after week I listen, at night it is hard to hear him as his tone is lower and softer, his stories have a nice rhythm and lull me to sleep. Some days his voice is rough and strained from talking so much, it's kind of sexy. Other days it is fill with joy, those days I know he is going to tell about the fun times. Then others it is sad and soft, those days he is thinking of the darker parts of his life.

Friday finally, I love the kids but I look forward to the time off it's a long weekend too. I don't have to be back there until Tuesday. As always as soon as I am through the door he starts talking. I gave up on not listening weeks ago, I chuckle to myself and today's events.

My toes hit something and I look down at the bag sitting there. There is a note,

_Riley, Thought we could cook together. ~Em~_

I take the bag with the recipe and close the door. I set it on the table and walk away. I shower and change into my bar tending clothes. I ignore the bag, and listen to him talking across the hall. It is quiet for awhile then I hear the sounds of pots and pans. The smells fill the air. I stop ignoring the bag as my stomach growls.

I read over the recipe, simple enough. I start cooking, I feel a pull to the door, I open it. Just a bit but I open it.

He talks more animated now. We eat in sync, I can tell by clanking of the silverware. We wash the dishes, there isn't much talking on his end now. I think about what it means. Is he giving up? I wanted him to, now I can't bare the thought of him not talking to me every moment we are near.

I can't think about it to long, my shift starts soon. Gathering my keys and coat I lock the door and before I step out the outer door I stop, with it pushed slightly open.

"I'm 26, and a kindergarten teacher. I prefer mint chocolate chip." I push through the door and head to work.


	36. Chapter 36

I wasn't sure it was the right idea anymore. I didn't give him a choice, I just thrust myself on him. Somewhere halfway through my dinner I got quiet. I think I have run out of things to tell him. I was hoping maybe if we cooked together he might relax and open up. He didn't, I could hear us in perfect sync, I wish I knew what else to do.

I grab a beer and stand at the window as I hear him getting ready to eave for the bar. It's Friday, he works the 9 to close shift. I hear the lock turn, I don't move, I hear his foot steps down the hall and I stand as still as I can. I can see his reflection in the window, he doesn't even glance my way. I hear the outside door open, then I hear the most wonderful thing in the world. His voice.

I don't have much to go on but it is a start. 26, he's younger then, by quite a bit but that isn't a problem for me. His day job is surprising, then again it doesn't because I am just getting to know him. His ice-cream choice we would have to evaluate.

Now I sit here and have no idea what to do. I want to go to the bar, I want to watch him, learn his mannerisms. But that feels like stepping over the line, feels like I am stalking him even more then I already have. I want to see him though. I have only had glances here and there as he passes my door.

I haven't been able to really look at him in three weeks. I haven't seen those haunting eyes in so long, I am afraid my memory is off. Everything in me screams to walk over to the bar and get a seat in the corner. not invade his space but watch him.

I don't I stay put, I won't set back weeks of work. Who knows maybe tomorrow I will get a few more words.

Grabbing another beer I stare out the window, I can't see him but I watch the building anyway. After finishing my beer and realizing I hadn't moved I run my hand down my face and move from my spot.

I need air, I have been waiting here or at work, I need to get out. Maybe a ride will clear my mind, a ride will ebb this obsession some. I force my self to go straight to my bike, I force myself to climb on. I battle every instinct I have to cross the street and park.

Making it to the main drag I am a bit more in control. I head to the edge of town and just drive. My head is a mess, the wind in my hair helps. It calms me, it helps slow down my thought process.

Why him, why now, why even consider changing? Is that what I am doing? Sure we had sex but everything else I would share with any friend. Well maybe not all of it.

There is no real answer, I drive and drive and there is no one reason why I am doing this. I just am.

In the distance I see a familiar bar. I had been there a time or two, picked up a few guys there. I know if I go in there now I can again. The spin of the miles bring the building clearer in view, I have plenty of pent up frustrations that's for sure. Pulling in the lot my internal argument plays on.

I owe him nothing. I park my bike and kick the stand down, and watch a few good looking guys go in. Some couples, some single guys. One or two check me out. I swing my leg off the bike. Leaning against it I watch some more.

I take a few steps forward then back, I watch as one dark haired built guy waits by the door watching me. He is the type that would be fun for a night. No strings, no guilt, hell probably no last names. Just how I like it, just like I need to clear my mind. The kind that will show me I haven't changed.

I take a few more steps.


	37. Chapter 37

It was just a few words, some simple facts but it felt like something shifted. Part of me felt lighter but the vast majority of me was scared shitless. I have no idea why I even opened my mouth. Well in the moment it was how sad he sounded. Defeat was there in his voice, at some point while eating something changed. He spoke less and softer.

Maybe I won't need to worry about what I was going to do, maybe he decided he was done playing the game. Maybe the door will be back up and closed, maybe his voice drifting down the hall will stop.

That's what I wanted, right? To have him go about his business and leave as planned, it is for the best, right? I felt sick.

"What up my man?" Jasper's hand pats me on the back, making me jump a bit.

"Everything's cool man, just spacin out a bit." He won't press, he has always been the silent observer type. Jas always waits for you to come to him, but he also has an eerie way of hanging around and making you spill. Not tonight though. I won't share anything right now.

I know how crazy it will sound and how stupid I am being. It isn't clear in my head so there is no way I could even begin to convey it to Jasper. No I will keep a lid on it and paint on a happy face.

Work was busy, blessedly busy. I didn't have much time to think. Just feed the booze to the masses and shoot down the normal Friday night come ons.

I would be lying if I didn't say I was waiting on him to show. I wasn't sure I would want him there. Okay maybe I did, I hadn't seen him in weeks. Maybe he isn't as good looking as I remember, maybe his stories and voice down the hall have glorified my memory. Yeah that's it... bullshit.

He never showed, I pretend not to care. I get my offers of a fun time, I turn them down. Jasper offers to drink a few with me before he goes home. I decline that one too. I wasn't sulking I was thinking, yeah that's it thinking. Thinking I was an idiot to think a few facts and I had a chance.

He spilled everything. Told me things I didn't even know about my ex of over a year. By the time I reach the stairs I have decided, fuck it, I think it is my turn to talk.

I don't know if I can do it face to face yet, but I will open the door a bit more. Climbing the stairs my hands start to sweat, my heart is picking up. I listen as I move down the hall, I hear the shower running and muffled voices. My heart sinks as I put the key in the lock, I have nothing to say.

I hear the shower shut off, the door open. I fumble with my keys. I need to get in before I hear anymore.

"Rose had the baby. Rachel called as I was getting in the shower." his voice has some laughter to it. "Thank god for smartphones, hands free and speaker are awsome."

I smile and the key slides in the lock easily now. I step inside, I look at the door. The door stays open.

"That's wonderful news. I am really happy for them."


	38. Chapter 38

It only took a wink, one wink from the tall dark and handsome piece of ass. I knew who I was now. I could walk up without a word and have him bent over a sink in the private bathrooms with in minutes.

So I take a step and then another. Nothing felt as great as getting on that bike and kicking the beast to life. I'm not saying I can't do it. I can. I don't want to. I would rather wait at home to hear Riley snoring, wake up to a one sided conversation then get off.

I think it must be old age setting in, I laugh to myself as I rev the engine and tear down the road to home.

As I swing into the alley I notice that the bar is clearing out and the neon is shutting down. If I am quick about it I have time to wash off the grime of the road and the smell of the shop.

Never fails I step in the shower and my phone rings. Peeking my head out the shower I give the command to answer the phone.

Rachel sounds over the moon happy and a bit choked up as she shares the news about the baby. I'm happy for them, they have been some loyal friends over the years.

Saying my good byes and killing the water I can hear a jingle of keys in the hall way. It is automatic that I tell him. I don't expect an answer but I am happy as shit when I get one.

I dress in just a pair of sleep pants and search for something to eat.

"What did they have?"

I find half a sub from lunch and nearly drop it when he answers. "I um ahh, a boy. eight pound 13 ounces."

I hear a little laugh, "Good to hear I won the bet. Rachel wont be happy about not getting to tatto me."

"Bet?" I wont let this open talking moment slip away.

"I told," There is a pause and clothes rustling. "I told Rach it was a boy the minute they found out. She insisted I was wrong, so we bet that if she was right I would get my first tattoo from her."

Hmm more insight, pierced but no tattoos. "Doesn't sound to bad."

There is a bark of laughter from down the hall. "It was going to be a tramp stamp." I cringe. "It would say Rachel is the Queen of Right."

I start laughing along with him. "Damn you lucked out."

I hear him rummaging around in the fridge. "You have no idea, the ultrasound said it was a girl."


	39. Chapter 39

The next week was weird to say the least. We still don't see each other but we talk. Mostly random things. I find it awkward at first, but soon it has a natural flow. His door remains off and mine open. A lot of times it is silent, like he doesn't feel the need to fill the silence all the time. And there are times I feel lonely or like it is to quiet, so I speak up.

"It's a montessori school. I love kids and early education is great but after I did my student teaching in alternate schooling I knew that is what I wanted to do." I am washing the dishes and telling my life to no one but really to someone. It's strange but really kind of freeing.

Emmett is quiet but I know he is there. Whenever I speak he is all ears, it is kind of nice, not having someone interrupt. Someone just waiting to hear what you have to say.

"I'm not sure I would have chosen five and six year olds, but after two years with them I can imagine another age to teach."

I smile to myself thinking about how young and open they all are. I hear a satisfied hum escape me.

"So then, um the parents? They know or don't..?" Grabbing a beer I make my way to the couch.

We have made a habit of this. On the nights he is home early or I don't have the happy hour shift, we cook dinner at the same time, eat at the same time, do the dishes then sit down with a beer. Together but not. I don't know if I can make that leap. It will hurt to much when he is gone if I put a face with the words.

Some how we have avoided seeing each other. An unspoken friendship rule. I like to think that after he is gone we can still keep it going over the phone, on the computer. Yes this is for the best.

"Most of the parents are either same sex or very alternative, my sexuality was never in question." I give out a burst of laughter. "Actually the question usually come from the kids. Just yesterday this little girl Raven asked if I had a husband."

"What did you tell her?" I can almost see him sitting forward on the edge of the couch waiting on my answer.

"Well I think it is a prompt from her father for one. He has been single since she was almost two, his husband was killed in Iraq. I have seen his flirts, but really isn't my type. But I told her I didn't but maybe someday when the right one comes along."

"That's nice." I hear the smile in his voice and something twists in my gut.

"Ya, she hugged me and told me someday my prince would come."

It got very quiet after that. There was little after that except a good night.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: this one is for luvinlapush. I have amazing reviewers that I try to respond to, but you my dear have been there for every chapter and I can't respond to your reviews so here are my thanks to you! **

It took mere days to fuck up, it has taken weeks to get him to talk, and now I am staring at the calender seeing how little time is left. Three weeks, only three fucking weeks and my commitment here is over. Rachel will cut back her work load and shorten hours, and Rose will be back part time a few weeks later.

I never really take jobs this long. I only did it for my closest friends. Usually a few weeks in and I want out. I feel the next town calling, I am on my phone putting out feelers and taking offers. Now I stare down at my last booking in the calender and I feel a pain, a sharp stabbing pain in my chest. The bell above the door pulls me from my sulking. My 5 o'clock is here.

"Hey Jasper how's it goin?"

The man is eerie quiet all the time, it is unnerving until he opens his mouth, then you are instantly put at ease.

"I'm good, loving that tatt I must say, so is Seth. I think I just need a few touch ups." he really looks me over in the most unnerving way, like he is scanning my brain or something. I break eye contact and motion to the back.

"Let's have a look then." I feel him behind me close, there is something about the man that is both calming and jarring. Like he is judging without judging. Sizing me up.

Taking off his shirt he lays down on the table as I gather my supplies. I feel his eyes on my back but when I turn he is staring straight ahead with is chin resting on his folded hands.

"Looks good, back pieces don't always heal so good." it did look good, no redness and very few spots of color loss.

"Yeah, Seth takes good care of me that way. He made sure he washed it off and kept it lotioned up. He loves it, but I was wondering if you could add to it?"

"Sure man, what ya want?"

"I was wondering if you could put a feather under it that I can have you add our wedding date to later?"

"Sure just underneath it, then I can add feathers to it down the road for your kids." The smile on his face is huge.

"I would love if you could add those over the years."

Then I realize what I just said. But I come back to the same cities a lot for touch ups and loyal clients. Right.

"But you know that isn't what you were thinking when you spoke Emmett." Jasper turns to me, calm and knowing... it's scary..

"No, no it wasn't..." I start cleaning his skin. "Jas.. you are scary as fuck."

He laughs and rests his chin on his hands once again. "You'll get use to it."

I am beginning to think I will have to get use to a lot of things


	41. Chapter 41

**a/n: just a quick note, yes I got a name wrong last chapter. I am blaming the rum... ya the rum... anyway it is fixed now and yes Jasper's guy is Seth. Ok now on with the show! oh ya and thank yo so so so much for the reviews!**

The time is ticking down. I try not to watch the calender. But Rachel told me when I was visiting her and Rose seeing the baby. She told me that they were going to be stretched thin.

Two weeks left now. The last week was different. He was fine one day as I left for work but when he came home, he was quieter. His voice was missing something. The spark had died. I wish I knew what that meant.

Tonight he was home already when I got there. He was on the phone. I tried not to listen but walls are thin and by now I had my ears trained to listen for his voice, no matter how soft it was.

"I have considered it, it is all I have been thinking about." there was a pause. "I know what it would mean." I can hear him pacing. "I know you gave me a week to think about it but.." He sounded agitated. "Ok I will let you know by Monday, it's just I'm not sure I can it is a long commitment... Ok Monday, I will let you know."

Sounds like he's booking a new job. I wonder where it is, there is a pain in my chest, I rub it out. It was suppose to not hurt. I don't look at him, we are suppose to be able to continue our friendship with out pain. We both have phones, we can keep in touch. Breathing is getting harder, I have to sit down. I slump forward, my elbows rest on my knees, my head slumps forward, I gasp for air.

What the hell I feel like the walls are closing in. Nothing is gonna make it easier, no matter what it is gonna hurt.

Pulling myself up right I stare at the door a minute before standing. It's gonna suck, it's gonna hurt, I may not heal. Fuck it. Before I can question myself I am stepping out the door, my feet are carrying me the few steps down the hall.

I'm in his doorway, I don't see him, I have a chance to turn around. I can stop this and he will never know I was here. My feet hold their place, glued to the floor.

Stop my brain screams, don't do this. You might not survive. I don't move.

I hear the bathroom door start to open. Run my heart screams, you won't survive. I stay stock still.

To late anyway. He is there, his hair still dripping. Water ripples down his colorful muscles and a drop hangs from the bar in his nipple. One hand holds a towel low on his waist.

Just as amazing as in my memories, maybe even more so. I see his breathing quicken and his eyes grow darker.

"Hi" he barely whispers.

"Hi."


	42. Chapter 42

I don't know why he is standing there, now. But I am not about to spook him. I hope I know why he is there in the door way, I pray to god I know why. He looks scared, confused, maybe a bit sad.

He licks his lips as you looks over my bare chest, I readjust my towel to make sure my growing erection stays hidden. I wait for him to make the first move. It seems like a thousand years before he takes a step. But he takes it and my heart feels like it going to beat out of my chest.

"Riley?" I question him.

"I give up." he shrugs. I have no idea what that is suppose to mean, but he steps grow closer.

"Give up?" I feel like a parrot.

He is almost touching me he is so close. Looking up at me he smiles, it doesn't quite match the look in his eyes.

"It is going to hurt no matter what. So I am done with the walls, I'm done with the faceless conversations. I am gonna take what I can get."

It hurts to hear, if I wasn't such a selfish asshole I would stop this. But I am what I am and I want this.

My hand goes to his neck and I pull him the rest of the way to me. I kiss him like I have wanted to for the past six weeks. Slow and deep. I was given this moment and I was going to give it everything I have.

His hands finally touch me, running up my chest to my neck and his fingers thread through my hair. His long fingers tangle in my hair and pulls, soft tugs urging me on, I switch angles and deepen the kiss swallowing his moans. Tongues twine and lips bite, never have I had such an amazing time just kissing a nip on his lower lip I pull away.

"Riley, are you sure? We don't have to..." his eyes are hooded and he looks almost drunk. His full lips are red from the kiss and his chin is a bit scratched from my stubble. He is gorgeous.

"Yes I'm sure." That was all it took for me to march over to my bedside table and grab lube and a handful of condoms, throw him over my shoulder and march across the hall. He gasps, "What are you doing."

"You have a door."

**A/N: these chapters are for Min, who I am sure is screaming out FINALLY! 3 ya babe!**


	43. Chapter 43

My head hits the pillow and his hands are pulling my shirt out of my pants. "You are wearing far to many clothes."

"Agreed." My fingers go to work on the buttons, when I have just enough undone I pull it over my head as Emmett takes care of my belt and pants. I kick off my shoes as he pauses to lick his magical peircing over my now exposed shaft. "Fuck I love that metal ball"

He laughs as he works my pants off the rest of the way. "It has it's advantages." When my pants are off he settles over the top of me, smiling. "Hi"

"Hi" I smile back, and he leans down capturing my mouth once again. My hands roam over his shoulders and back, I feel the terry cloth of his towel still around his hips. "Now whose over dressed?" I ask into his mouth.

I feel him smile against mine and him raising his hips. I whip the towel off, and groan as he lowers them again. He's amazingly hard and rests in the perfect spot, our hard shafts are side by side, Emmett pushes his hips against me slightly and the sensations raise goosebumps all over my body.

"Perfect." he mumbles against my neck as he licks his way down my neck and down my chest. Looking up at me he is smiling giving me a chance to see his dimples.

"You are fond of my tongue ring but I love these." Gently he runs his the tip of his tongue all around the silver rings, it feels somewhere between tickling and being erotic. Then he threads through the ring and gives a gentle pull before sealing his mouth around it. My back arches off the bed. "Fuck yes that feels good." he licks his way across my chest to the other one.

I want to touch and explore, as good as this feels, his mouth on me and our cocks slick and sliding against each other, I need to play to.

I grab him by the hair and pull him back up to my face. Kissing him hard I have the distraction and the chance I am looking for. I deepen the kiss and flip him over.

Pushing up so my hands are on each side of his head, he is shocked but smiling.

"It's my turn to explore." He puts one hand behind his head and gestures down his body.

"Have at it, it's all yours."

**A/N: Ok little bit of a cliffie, but I am hoping I gave you enough to tide you over for a few hours. It is family time though so I will be back to writing after Once upon a time! **


	44. Chapter 44

I gladly hand over power to Riley, it has been a long time since I have let someone take control. But I am happy to let him play my body.

His long fingers draw a path that his mouth follows, licking and nipping across my shoulders and down my chest. I grunt when he doesn't even try to be gentle with my barbells. He gives each of them a lick and a hard tug before going lower, his tongue traces the patterns on my body. Following them down my hips and high across my pelvis. Not once does he touch my aching cock. I can see the moisture dripping off of it, feel as it drip onto my abs. Riley sees it to and his tongue darts out to catch it and lap it up.

I think that it has to be the most erotic thing I have ever seen, until his full red lips slide over the tip of me. His tongue circles the rim making me shutter, he dips in the slit before sliding down the length.

"Oh fuck Riley, yes." I hiss out, he can't take all of me in but he makes up for it in rhythm and suction. He keeps a torturing pace as his hands slide up my chest twisting and playing with my nipples. He twist and tugs causing ripples of pleasure through my whole body.

Grabbing him by the upper arms I drag him up my body and he is smiling huge, proud of himself I am sure.

"You're pierced there too." he smiles down at me. I was wondering if you would notice.

"I am." I push a lock of hair off his forehead his thighs part and his knees find a spot on each side of my hips.

"That could be fun." he rolls his hips and I slide between his ass.

"A lot of fun." another time though I need just him right now and I show him by pulling his mouth back to mine and thrusting up.

I fumble around by my head looking for what I brought from my place. His hand is there searching too. I find the condoms and he has the lube.

"How do you want to...?" he is almost shy in his asking.

"Any way you want Ri, anyway, I mean it." he smiles and I hear the lube click open and see his hand disappear. He leans down with his other arm resting next to my head and nips and licks across my jaw to my lips.

"You gonna put that on or what?" I follow his eyes to my hand that has a death grip on the shiney packet.

There was a little fumbling and a few laughs but some how I manage to get it on. Once I have it on Riley takes charge once again. Resting one hand on my stomach the other reaches behind and guides me to him. I see a moment of pain then his breathing relaxes as he sinks down on me.

"Oh fuck you feel good." my words fall out all on their own. He smirks at me and rolls his hips.

"You have no idea how much I agree with that statement."

My hands on his hips urge him to move before I come just sitting inside hi. he obliges with a lift to his knees and roll of his hips he sets a pace, a few adjustments in his position and I am bucking my hips to meet his downward thrusts.

Grunts and moans fill the air, I piston up harder and faster, moving in and out hitting every angle I can. Riley leans forward bracing one hand beside my head and grabbing himself with the other. I turn and nip at his wrist before removing my hand from his hip and joining his on his shaft.

His own pre-cum slicking our hands, I give him a squeeze and it benefits us both when he thrusts harder, fucking my had as I move in and out of him.

"Oh god Ri, so close... fuck yes..." I am not caring how I sound, my voice is heavy with begging. I need to cum.

"Me to,, ungh yes.." he rides me frantically and I feel him tighten around me as his head swells and I feel him spill between us.

I hold his hips still as I scream out shaking as I spill inside him.

He collapses on my chest and my arms go around him. His head is buried in my neck, I turn into his and inhale deeply trying to catch my breath and taking in his scent.

"I've never.. I ... oh... umm.. wow..." ya real smooth Emmett.

**a/n: was it worth the wait? **


	45. Chapter 45

I want to say it, I don't. My brain and heart are yelling at me to stop being a chicken shit, I don't listen. I won't ruin this, I will just deal with the aftermath. Pushing all those thoughts out of my head I peel my face out of Emmett's neck after completely memorizing his smell.

"Such a way with words." I laugh at him, he has a lazy drugged man smile on his face. Squeezing me tighter he rolls us over and he slips out of me. One hand disappears from me briefly.

"To your right." he gets what I am saying then his arms are back around me, his body pinning me to the bed.

"How is this for words, that should have been our first time." I almost well up with tears, but then I start laughing.

"Yup better." I say through my laughter. I catch site of the alarm clock and panic. "Shit" I push at his shoulders to get him to move and he looks confused.

"What?" he reluctantly lets me go.

"I have to be to work in 20 minutes and I am covered in sweat and cum." His rolls to his side and props up on his bent arm watching me.

"Good thing you don't have a long commute." he is totally enjoying this.

"Fuck you."

"I think you took care of that already, hun." I have to smile at that because hell yes I did.

Heading to the bathroom after grabbing what ever jean and work shirt I could find, I make little time getting the shower on. I am sure he will have a nice nap whenever he can I on the other hand have to make my shift on time or I will have a line down the block. I don't usually mind opening on Saturdays because it gives me the time to actually enjoy the weekend. This week thinking about the man in my bed I fucking hate it.

I power through my shower and dress quickly, coming out of the bathroom I expect to see muscle and color, snoring away but instead it is empty and my heart drops.

"Why the downer look?" my heart picks up and I see Emmett leaning against the door frame. He is a wet dream standing there with damp hair, white v-necked t-shirt hanging loose over dark jeans. His ankles are crossed and the tip of his of his dark brown well worn biker boots rests on the floor.

I completely forgot what he said as I take him in. I blink a few times and clear my head. His laughter fills the loft.

"I thought I would shower at my place or else you would be late, or not make it at all." His dimples are deep and his eyes are sparkling. "You ready to go?"

Ok didn't expect that one. "So you're coming to work with me?"

He nods. "You think I am gonna let all the drunk party boys drool all over you, hit on you?" he shakes his head, "Not a chance they get to make their moves on you.

I really wish I had time to question the He-Man routine, it is sexy and scary and confusing as fuck. At least I will have time to think about it at work. Is thinking about it a good thing?


	46. Chapter 46

Ok ya I could have stayed home, I could have aken a nice long nap and come down later. But not a chance, I have spent 6 weeks not being able to look at Riley and now I am going to spend as much time as I can doing just that.

I dared to reach for his hand as we made the short walk over and waited patiently behind him as he unlocked the bar with two minutes to spare. He said something about being lucky there were no angry queens waiting.

I took a seat on a stool next to the wall at the bar, a place I could watch him from no matter where he was. I felt a bit over protective, a bit stalkerish but that wasn't my intent, I just wanted to look at him. I wanted to soak in every move he made, I wanted to see how he was with ihs friends and patrons. I know almost everything about him, his voice and stories have filled my head for weeks, now I am eager to see the actions his body language that goes with him. I want to learn what mannerisms go with what. I want to see who he trusts, how he looks when uncomfortable, the crinkle in the corner of his eyes when he smiles.

"Well nice to see you again." I tear my eyes from Riley and focus o the man next to me.

"Jasper," I shake the mans hand. "How's it going, how's the tattoo healing?"

"Good, I'm great tattoo is amazing. Seth Loves it." He nods as he speaks and takes a seat on the stool next to me.

"Glad to hear, I aim to please." there is an awkward moment.

He looks from me to where my eyes have been drawn to all night.

"Does he know about the offers yet?" I whip my head to face him.

He shrugs, "It's all in the family you know? Rach told me about them."

"No he doesn't, I don't even know what I am going to do yet."

Jasper barks out a laugh and slaps me on the back as he gets up off the stool. "Sure you don't my man, sure you don't."

I watch him down the bar, he is talking to some little twink that has been trying to catch his eye since he walked in. Riley gives him his drink and a sorry kind of wink and looks down my way. I catch his eye and motion that I am going to step out for a smoke. He nods and gives me a look that has me stiffening a bit.

Out front I light up and think about what I am doing. I think about the offers, I think about what it will mean. I am more lost then ever. Stupid fucking head and heart.

**a/n: ok not all is as transparent as it would seem. and I wish I could post more tonight but the hubby needs to have my computer so he can edit Steel's first few chapters to be ready for a blog review. I will be back at it tomorrow! 3 Thankies to all the reviews and alerts!**


	47. Chapter 47

I really thought it would be weird having Emmett at work with me, but it was actually kind of hot. Every time someone would hit on me or ask to take me home I had the great pleasure of pointing down the bar and explaining who I was going home with. I never labeled who he was but a thrill went through me every time I got called a lucky bitch.

I even got an offer for a threesome, I laughed loud at that one and turned it down. I felt his eyes on me all night, I felt the heat of it on my back. I felt a tingle, a thrill when our eyes would lock and he would give me a dimple and a wink. I nearly dropped a shaker when I caught him looking and his tongue darted out licking his lower lip and biting it. He laugh hard that time.

He talked to a few guys but not for long, Jasper stopped down to see him briefly. I wonder if Jasper is doing the creepy all knowing thing on him yet. The crowd is doubling in size like normal for this time on a weekend. I am moving double time and signal to Jasper to give me a hand.

I caught his movement down at the end of the bar and it hits me like a ton of bricks, my smile falters a bit and he must have noticed because he stiffens for a moment before returning my smile and going out front.

"You ok there Ri?" Jasper slide behind the bar to help with the rush we just got.

"Ya man I'm fine." I busy myself washing the glasses and mugs that were piling up in the sink.

"Right, you look just about as fine as Emmett does."

"What the hell are you talking about Jas?" I know he sees something going on but I am not gonna fess up to anything.

"You both in love and both to busy battling shit in your heads to admit it." I laugh him off, not that he is wrong on my half, but what I feel doesn't really matter. Our time together has a deadline, and it is fast approaching.

"Don't want to talk about it Jas. We are hanging out and having fun, that is it."

Jasper watches me for a few minutes before filling the mug that he had been holding.

"Ok man what ever you have to tell yourself."

It was what I had to tell myself, get myself to believe. I repeat it over and over again in my head. Then he walks back in, nothing I can tell myself will help, and I am gonna hurt. Bad.

**a/n: back to monday and the crazy mom schedule, so I will leave you with this one and will be back with a lot more tonight.**


	48. Chapter 48

The air isn't helping, the smoke did nothing to calm my nerves. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Everything has been pretty much perfect since this afternoon, watching him has had a million different outcomes going through my head.

I go over them again and again with a different outcome every time. Times like this I wish I believed in psychic crap, but I don't so I am stuck choosing on my own. If I fuck up it's all on me.

I catch the look on his face as I come back in the bar, it is sad with realization of something, but he covers it with a smile. I know in that moment that a lot will riding on me. It sucks, this is why I never stay anywhere. This is why I don't do relationships. These choices would have been easy two months ago. A real no brainer.

For now I push all the shit aside and get back into the blissed out mood I had earlier. Watching as guy after guy hits on Riley is amusing, well I don't find it amusing when they touch him or don't take no for an answer. When that happens I want to remove the offender from the bar by his balls. But it is funny as shit when he turns them down point at me. The looks go from disappointment, to shock, to lust.

Strutting his way down the bar Riley gives me another beer. "What has you down here laughing your ass off?"

"That last guy, he looked like he wasn't sure if he was gonna piss himself or blow a load when he looked down here."

He leans down on the bar and gives me a smoldering look. "Well you do ooze bad ass and sex. I can't blame the guy. I think he was hoping for an invite."

I lean forward so our noses are almost touching "Not a chance, this is a two person show." I lean forward and kiss him hard and hot. Then there is a throat clearing next to us.

"Right now honey it is a show for everyone." I turn and see an older very flamboyant man fanning himself.

Riley gets back to work and I start talking with the guy. He was very interesting, not the type of person I can recall ever hanging out but he helps the time pass until Riley is off.

"If you don't mind me asking how long have you known?" I give the man a puzzled look.

"Known?" I ask.

"That he was the one for you."

"Since the minute I laid eyes on him I think." the man smiles and nods but I continue. "But it's not that easy."

"It's never easy no matter the situation, so that isn't the real question. The real question is, Is it worth it." With that he smacks my back and says his good-byes.


	49. Chapter 49

IT was a fun combination to watch, rough and tough, tattooed as hell biker, sitting there talking to a high handed, over gesturing middle aged queen in a pink silk shirt. The look so opposite they shouldn't even be comfortable sitting next to each other, but for over and hour their heads were bowed in conversation, some seemed fun and light and other times I got a sense that it was very serious.

Finally the crowd slowed and it was looking like I could get out from behind the bar. I made my way down to let Emmett know and his smile was back to reaching his eyes.

"Mm I'm not sure what is better the front or the back." I laugh at him and smack him with my bar towel.

"Hey so looks like I am gonna clock out here in a few. What do you want to do after?"

His eyebrows go up and he tilts his head like I had just asked the dumbest question in the world.

"Besides that, that is a given that it will happen but.." he laughs, I love the sound of his laugh, it is full and warm.

"Ok ok, how about food? Then a ride?" as if on cue my stomach growls.

"Food for sure, I haven't eaten since lunch. But how about the ride tomorrow, it'll force us to get out of bed for at least a little while."

"Ok sounds like a plan, now hurry up and get done. As much as I love watching your ass behind the bar, I would prefer to see it in my hands."

I shake my head walking away, I catch myself before the thoughts about missing that kind of talk pop up again. I am ready to just dive in and make the most of it.

Twenty minutes later we're half naked and making out waiting on the deli to deliver our food. Once we were clear of the bar door I found myself shoved up against the side of the building, being devoured. There was no way we would be able to eat in public, so I hit speed dial as we walked.

Between kisses I took my time going over his tattoos asking about them. Some were random, others he told me the stories behind them.

"That was the last one I got, I wanted it for awhile now and when I went to Prde last year in Chicago I decided to go for it." He watched as I traced it again and again. I was a scrolling rainbow heart on his chest just above his heart.

He looked very serious at the moment and was about to say something when a knock interrupted him from saying what ever was on his mind.

Emmett hops up and dashes to the door. It was an evasive action, I know. But some part of me doesn't want to hear as much as he didn't want to say.

When he comes back to the couch he is laughing and back to his earlier mood. Door closed on the moment.

"I think I just took a few years off the delivery boys life. He almost took off before I could pay him."

I take him in, tatted, peirced, half naked, and nodded my head.

"I can see how that is possible."

"I don't scare you, do I?" he winks and takes a bite of his sub, dripping mustard down his chin. I bark out laughing.

"Terrified, positively shaking." truth was goofy grin, sitting criss cross, dripping mustard, I think I'm the most scared I have ever been.

**a/n: I will be getting a few more chapters out yet tonight I think, but I warn you JR Ward's Lover Reborn is arriving on my nook at midnight.**


	50. Chapter 50

"Do it again, please." his pout is starting to work on me but I still shake my head no. "Please Emm, just one last time."

"I think I've done it enough." I laugh and throw a pillow at him.

"I'll ride on your death machine with you." oh now he is pulling out the big guns. He told me he was terrified of motorcycles earlier and that's why he put off the ride.

"Death machine? You drive a car so old and rusted out it doesn't even count as scrap metal, you're one speed bum away from your ass on the road."

"Hey leave Bertha Bea alone." I bust out laughing holding my side as I roll my face into the pillows. "What?"

After I calm my breath I pull my head out of the pillows and he is on his knees, his pout even more extreme. He looks like a little boy, ok not exactly but the look is two cute to resists.

So I cave and do my Donald Duck and Mickey mouse having sex impression. He is clapping and laughing at it. Rolling around on the bed. I climb over him lowering my legs on his, slowly skin touches higher and higher. By the time we are touching to the waist, his laughter has died. His eyes are glassed over now in lust.

Bracing my weight on my arms beside him so I won't crush him I feel him stir to life. "Hi"

"Hi" he repeats. Then puls my head down to his. We are a mess of twisted limbs and dueling tongues as we roll on the bed fighting for dominance. I win and press him to the bed while my knees part his legs. His breath hitches as I pull his knees up to a bent position on the bed and I let my leaking cock slide over his tight sac. Letting it slide under I press the tip of my cock to where it wants to be.

"Mm fuck, that feels amazing." he moans as he leans up and tugs on my peircing with his teeth, then licking the sting away.

"Fuck Riley," I grunt and my hips thrust on their own, he repeats the action on the other side, "Baby you have to stop, I need a condom, I almost slipped in that time."

He pulls back with a sheepish grin. "Oops" is all he offers up. Leaning down I kiss him fiercely nipping at his lips and sucking on his tongue. He thrust up to me as my hands searches beside us looking for the supplies. Finally my fingers find the lube but come up with only empty condom wrappers.

"Shit." I groan.

"What's wrong?" he looks over and sees four very empty wrappers. "Oh" his eyes get big and he giggles. "Please tell me you have more?"

I do a mental scan of my suit case and drawers. "I think I do, hold on."

Running down the hall naked and hard isn't easy, I almost stubbed a toe on the door in the hall but I made it unscathed. A quick rummage through my bag I come up victorious, running back down the hall I am a bit deflated but once I round the corner the sight before me has me pointing to the heavens once again.


	51. Chapter 51

I watch as he runs down the hall, the way his ass cheeks curve in on the sides as he flexes have me moaning and reaching for my shaft. The sight of him fully naked running down the hall knowing what will happen when he gets back have me almost crying with the need to cum.

I make sure I stroke just enough to hold off, squeezing the reddish purple head to hold myself back. I hear his bare feet slapping against the hard wood floors getting closer. The thoughts of him soon filling me have one hand stroking myself and the other twisting the ring on my chest. I arch up and bite my lip and I hear a growl from across the room.

"Hands off now."

I release myself right away and slowly turn over so I am on my hands and knees, I hear the tear of the wrapper, I feel to the side seeking what I am looking for. Finding it I smile to myself I flick the lid, raising up on my knees I spread my ass with one hand and with the other I drizzle the cool lube between.

"Oh hell." I hear from behind me. A dip in the bed tells me he is there, his arms wrapping under my shoulders tell me this is going to be intense. He nips my ear and bites my shoulder as he lines himself up. Dipping me forward my fingers fist the sheets as he pushes forward. I grunt and cry out with him.

"Not gonna last long.." he huffs out as he slide fast and hard into me. The angle he is hitting has me feel fuller then ever.

"Me either, oh.. god yes.. more.." I can't help being loud and yelling out as he wraps and arm around my chest pulling me up. "Yes bite.." I shout out as his my back is flush with his chest and his teeth skim my shoulders and neck. He bites down and his hips piston in and out and I yell out cumming all over the bed without even being touched.

Moments later his arm tightens on my chest and he is screaming out too. He holds me tight to his chest for a few moments before letting us fall to the side.

Our breathing slows and I turn in his arms. "WOw"

"Understatement," his breathing is slowing now. "A ride is a must though, that was the last condom."

I nod to sated to care about the ride. "Lube's almost gone too." We lay talking about everything and nothing until we feel like making our way to the shower. We change the sheets together and climb into bed, we are both a tired happy blob. I feel him curl around me locking me into place, I let myself drift off in a happy state of denial.


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: I'm baaackkk! Miss me? Miss the boys? Oh I am sure you did! Finished my book, it was so good and it was nice to take a break and read instead of write but now I am back in writing mode. Ok Not sure what the posting is gonna be like but I will try to keep rolling at a good pace, but I am also working on Steel. **

"I can't no, nope can't do it... no protection then no ride." he is standing his ground.

"You promised." I am borrowing his pleading whine and pout.

"Sorry Emm, I will take a lot of stupid risks, but this is one I am standing firm on." he crosses his arms and stares me down.

"Fine." I grab his hand and we take off down the street on foot.

"We can take my car." he gives me.

"Fuck you, hell no! My bike with no helmets is safer then that ancient thing." I twine our fingers and pull Riley along.

"Age is just a number baby." he retorts.

"Yeah well, I would like to live to see 34." in the end it is all okay, I would love to feel him behind me on my bike but hand in hand will do.

We got a late start, I had worn Riley out pretty good last night and sleeping with him in my arms was a feeling I would love to get use to. I shake the thoughts out of my head as we make our way into a little bakery, each grabbing a coffee and pastry. After that we stopped at a drug store to get much needed supplies and a few snacks.

After a stop at a gallery and a brief look see we both were to eager with what was in the bags in our hands to stay long.

The afternoon played out much as the night before, some eating, some talking, a lot of fooling around. It was nice, I never had nice before with someone. I had hot, I had raunchy, hell I've even had kinky as fuck. But nice was new to me, and I liked it.

I watch Riley sleep, his features when relaxed make him look so much younger then 27. His lips are relaxed in a soft smile, his cheeks are slightly flushed, his dirty blonde hairs is all over the place. He was perfect, it made me panic a bit how perfect he is.

Drifting off holding him in my arms it was clear what I needed to do.

A shrill bell going off had me bolting up right looking for the source. "What the Fuck!"

Riley jogs out of the bathroom, "Sorry I forgot to shut it off." His hair is damp and he is dressed in a pair of light colored dockers and a soft blue button up shirt.

"Sok just scared the shit out of me." as if to make it all better he sits next to me on the bed, giving me soft morning kisses.

"Thank you, for this weekend. It was perfect. I will never forget it." his smile tells me he really means it.

"Thank you. It was the best weekend I have ever had." and I mean it.

Before we get to mushy or I wrinkle him he gets up to finish getting ready for work. I exuse myself to use my bathroom so he can finish in his own. Just as I am about to get in the shower my phone goes off on the night stand.

"Damn I know I said Monday, but 7am Monday?" I say in greeting.


	53. Chapter 53

It was a weekend to challenge all weekends. But all to soon my internal clock was going off telling me that once again it was Monday, time to get back to reality. I listened to his soft snores as I brushed my teeth, I watched his facial features shift as he dreamed, I even sniffed him when I was grabbing my sock. Oh man I got it bad.

Bad or not though I was smiling when he kissed me and told me he was going to shower at his place. Filling up my travel mug I see how late it is getting, and gather the rest of my school stuff. I'll just have to say good bye at his place. As I approach I can hear he is on the phone, I guess I will settle for a wave. Just as I am to the door frame I tuck back a minute.

"I'll finish what I committed to but that's the best I can offer, what no not yet, yeah well my heart is just not in it, I can't." there was a long pause. my heart I am sure will be shatter, just as soon as it starts beating again. "No I'll do it myself, thanks for the offer Rach but I'm a big boy." there is a chuckle.

I don't want to hear anymore, I go on auto pilot, letting myself into my car. Just minutes ago we were both so happy, now... "Fuck!" I yell out and punch the steering wheel.

How could I be stupid enough to think he would stay? I should have known that even getting to know each other, seeing how good we could be he would still feel that pull to move on.

Funny thing is, I'm not even mad at him. I mad at myself for being mad at him for leaving. I knew he was only here for a set time, I knew that if we slept together again there was no going back to faceless friends. After that first day of him talking to me I knew.

The only thing I could think to do it cut it off cold turkey. I have time, I have a sub list. I can't watch him walk away.

I think I need to be by myself.

I had a sub by noon, was packed and on the road by one. I thought about nothing, I just drove. I listened to the radio and let the miles pass. It was a two hour drive to my dad'd fishing cabin, and I knew I would break down once there. So of course, the trip speeds by.

I barely get the keys in the door before I feel the shaking begin. I ghost my way in, dropping my bag, slamming the door shut and falling on the bed.

I think I rose somewhere around three days later it may have been four.


	54. Chapter 54

I was kind of pissed I didn't get a good-bye but I must have been on the phone still, he was running a bit late. So I shot him a text and climbed in the shower.

The day was flying by, only a handful of clients today so I assure Rachel it was okay to go home to Rose and the baby. I tried to reach Riley at lunch time but it went to voice mail, but that is normal, the ankle biters can keep him busy he has told me.

I am riding a high from the weekend and nothing can bring that down. It is gonna suck when I have to leave next week, I hope he will understand. I will just have to treat him extra special tonight and make sure he does.

It's strange when I think about leaving there is no panic this time. It is just what I have to do and I know what I feel for Riley will be there no matter what.

Closing up shop I take the stairs two at a time. I wanted to get home first but a twit with fake everything kept me forever, she wanted something slutty she will regret years down the road, and she insisted I draw it up for her as she leaned across the counter shoving her titts in my face. In the end I gave her and appointment card and a firm no thanks I'm gay.

She took the card and pouted her way out the door, she may have mumbled something like "we'll see". What ever though, better then her have tried to convince me. Nope what I want is up stairs, lean muscled, ivory skin, tight assed and gorgeous as sin.

It is all quiet when I reach the top, looking back I notice his car isn't in the lot. Whipping open the door, I see Riley's door closed, no noise behind it. I knock, nothing, try the knob but it doesn't give. I try his cell, voice mail, not even a ring.

Panic sets in, did something happen, was he hurt, working over time? No his door was left open when I left, I know I am the one that left it open. Pacing the hall I try his phone no less the a few dozen more times.

I don't get it, why? We had an amazing weekend, we had a great morning... "Shit, fuck, damn it to fucking hell" Ok punching the wall, dumb idea. Shking it out I make sure I did no damage.

Checking my watch I see that the bar is open, kicking his door I grab my keys and march across the street. Jasper has to have answers. Right?

"Sorry man I have no idea, he was like a zombie when he came to work this morning. Said he needed to take a couple weeks off and then he was gone." leaning across the bar in his creepy know all way he stares me down. "But I bet you know why he left."

Peeling my fingers from my hair I stand behind my stool gripping the back. "I think it was because he heard a phone call I had this morning. But it was not what he was thinking and... Fuck! Where would he go?"

"Wish I could tell ya man, but I honestly have no idea. And until he is done with the radio silence thing no one will know."

Great that is the last thing I wanted to hear.

**A/N: Ok no throwing things at me... yes I am leaving it there for now, there will be more later and I am sorry to say it will get worse before it gets better. But on a lighter note, I wrote a os that took first place in the SWW pick a pic prompt contest and you can get to the link through my profile. Warning though it does contain spoilers to this story.**


	55. Chapter 55

Okay enough moping now, time to clear the head. Laying in bed and forcing myself to eat a protein bar and sipping some water has left me lethargic and in even fouler mood then I was in to start.

I force myself in the shower, I force myself to get dressed, I force down a sandwich and a bottle of water and I force myself out in the fresh air.

I take the trail up the bluffs, the air is crisp and clean. Morning dampness clings to the low lying leaves, the earth under my feet is soft and covers the sounds of my footfalls. I hear the birds in the trees and the small animals in the brush. The trees covering the path give way to reveal a perfect and rare clear sky.

The water below is calm, and the rock beneath me is cold and hard. Deep breaths taking in the serenity I finally let myself think about what I haven't been. For days I noticed things around me, sounds, how the blanket felt, just laid there counting my breaths to assure myself I was still in fact alive. Now I open the flood gates.

Every fact Emmett told me, every story he shared with me, every touch and sound as we made love. The laughter as we did, the intensity of other times. All of it, I would replay it over and over again, letting the tears fall until I am numb. Eventually the numbness I am looking for comes from a bottle of Jack I found in the cabinet.

The numbness only lasts as long as I am passed out. Then it is all back full force.

I nurse my hang over with water and fresh air. I nurse my heart with just keeping the good memories in the front of my mind.

I could have stayed, I could have had five more days of memories to add. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, I couldn't bare to hear the words from him.

"I know we had some fun but yeah, I can't be tied down."

Yup wasn't sticking around for that convo.

Ten days later it didn't hurt any less, but I was getting good at faking it. I made trips into town, I interacted with a few of the locals in the sleepy little fishing town. I use the trips into town as a test of sorts. Seeing if a guy can function and appear normal without a heart. So far it would seem the answer is yes, amazingly enough.


	56. Chapter 56

"You can't put it off any longer if you are going to make it there by Monday." Rachel has been a trooper putting up with my foul moods.

The first night he was gone I got drunk, shit faced, stop the world from moving, vomiting behind the dumpster kind of drunk. The next night I kept my drinking at home and got drunk, really really drunk, like ugly cry, a million voicemails left, passing out clutching the shirt he left in my place on the pillow his head had laid on the first time we made love kind of drunk.

The next few days I ranted and yelled. I punched the couch and I smashed the remote against the wall.

By the end of the week I was at work, sober and loathing life. Rachel has been sitting staring at me as I stare out the door urging me to get on the road. I had a lot of miles to cover, miles that I don't want to travel.

"If I only had a clue. If he would only turn on his fucking phone." I rub my tired eyes, they feel like I slept face first on the beach with them open.

"Jasper had no ideas?" I shake my head.

"He said that he didn't, all he knew was he took a couple weeks off at both school and the bar. He said he didn't even talk to him, he just got the voice mail."

"Emmett, all you can do is go and do what you need to do." Her hand squeezes my shoulder and I put mine on top of hers.

"I know Rach, but I was just hoping... if I could only explain..." kissing her hand I stand, knowing I have to leave.

"Ok, well thank you for everything." she smiles sadly and nods.

"So are you sure about everything? You don't have to you know after all of this..."

"I am sure."

The miles pass with pain for the first day, the second day I am numb, numb is good. Numb will help me focus on work and work alone. I should get into town in another few hours. It should have taken another half day but before I got numb I got pissed and when I get pissed I tend to floor it. I caught myself more then once approaching 100 mph. It really felt good to have the anger, but it felt better when I felt nothing.

Pulling into my new job, I take it in. Generic, just like a million other shops all over the country. Looking around I see across the street, the view I will be seeing for the next two week, an insurance place, perfect. This wouldn't work if there were neon signs and rowdy crowds to remind me.

A few days in and I am in a groove, even fake friendly. Not that it would matter if I didn't the tough guys expect it and the bimbos think it's hot. The girls flirt, the guys flirt, I ignore them all. I just want to keep my head down and get my work done. I'm not looking for anything I left my heart a few thousand miles up the coast, and that is where it is gonna stay.

I don't think I could even get it up if I tried. So I ignore them, all of them, I don't even tell the women I don't go that way.

"We're heading out to the bars tonight. You in?" Marc the shop owner has been trying to get me to go out with his buddies all week. I just haven't felt it.

"Sure, what the hell." I relent, hell it is better then sitting in my rooms not watching tv.

"Great, maybe we can find you a piece to get your ass smiling again." he laughs out and slaps my back.

"Not a chance" I growl out.

Laughing harder "You sure about that, I think it could do you some good."

"It's the last thing that will do me some good."

They tried, all of them, the guys from the shop, the girls in the bar. I didn't bother to correct any of them. And from then on I worked and went home. I did my time, I counted the minutes on the clock, I passed my nights with infomercials and bland beer. I called every night, it went to voice. I called every morning, it went to voice.

I packed up my gun, I packed up my saddlebags I collected my nice fat check and hit the road.


	57. Chapter 57

Reality is all in perspective, yes I am back in a place where the population sign won't get confused for the speed limit. i will be back to work and back home, but that isn't reality for me here.

Reality is a booming voice down the hall, a smile around a mouth full of food, a colorful strong arm pulling my tight into a warm hulking body. That was the reality I had come to know. Shifting back to an empty hall and an empty bed... no that's not right the bed wont be empty, it will be over flowing with memories.

Finally pulling into home, I see his spot empty, my gut twists. Would it have been easier to watch him pull out? No, I know that for sure. Sliding my key in the lock I brace myself, I know he isn't here but I await the emotions to hit. I'm surprised when they don't, maybe I am completely numb to it all now.

I look down the hall, and I know I'm not numb. His door is, no not his door, it was just a place he stayed for awhile, the door across the hall is back on it's hinges and closed up tightly. The ghost of his voice hangs in the air along with the smell of his shower gel. As quickly as I can I make my way into my loft, locking myself in, holding my back to the door as if I can keep out the memory of him. There is no doing that though since a major part of those memories are here in the very room.

I see him on the couch, in the bed, at the stove, everywhere. I hold my aching stomach as I look around, trying to figure out how to stop this hurt. Punching the door behind me I choose anger, marching through the loft I start with stripping the bed, then on to anything else that shouts his name at me.

An hour later I am delighting in my new cold attitude and getting dressed to work at the bar. I will not let this stop my life. I had my temper tantrum now it is time to move on, put on my big girl panties and get with it.

I got got back in the flow of work easily, funny how keeping busy helped the mood swings. Jasper tried several times to bring it all up but I was able to shut him down with a look. As long as life went back to how it was before I can keep it together.

Work filled all my time, school took up my days and extra shifts at the bar filled my nights. Most nights I fell into bed after two and was up by six, exhausting as hell but my brain was blissfully blank.

A week and a half later I have been successful, no random thought of him, no break downs, I can do this.

The Saturday crowd is rowdy as always and the locals have me actually smiling. Not the way I use to be but it is an improvement.

"So you gonna take me home tonight then?" Tyler slips up to the bar.

"Not a chance babe, but I think they guy in the white short shorts might take you up on your offer."

He looks over his shoulder and squeals. "Ohh I have been trying to get a piece of that for months!" I laugh as I hand him his 7&7, and he puts a bit more swing to his hips as he crosses the bar.

The crowd swells, and the music is loud, I am bouncing to the music having an ok time for a change, when I catch a glimpse in the mirror and the bottle I am holding slips from my hand.


	58. Chapter 58

"God Damn Rain." I curse a blue streak as I wake to another day of pouring rain. I should have been there two days ago but the rain just won't let up. I went as long as I could but as soon as I hit the border it seemed to open up even heavier. Thank you Washington state for being the Niagra Falls of the west.

I was forced to pull in to the closest hotel and park it. I watch endlessly for the first sign of being able to get back on the road. I figured I would be able to get a few hours sleep and be back on the road with little time lost. Any time lost would be to much but the littler the amount the better.

Mother nature, the cock blocking bitch that she is has other plans. Two days two god damn days lost. When I do finally get on the road again I can't make up the time with speed thanks to the rain soaked roads.

As the miles creep closer the sun is setting, I can see the lights of Seattle teasing me. They look deceptively close but I know by the mile marker I still have a good half hours drive. I do the math in my head, "Shit no catching him alone."

I reach the city and gun it, in my head I am going over everything I want to say. Slowing in the city traffic, I imagine his response. As I close in on home, I vibrate with nerves. Will he want me there? Tough shit if he doesn't. Will it be the same as before, it will be for me.

Parking and leaving my shit on my bike I don't even bother going upstairs. Before my nerves get the best of me I jug down the alley and across the street. There are a few gasps as I approach the bar. Some are from how I look a few others in knowledge of who I am. They do nothing to settle my nerves.

The bar is pretty crowded and it takes a few minutes to catch a glimpse of him but I do and I stand back and watch him. Just like the first time I saw him, I am stunned speechless. He laughs and jokes and I notice, the spark is gone. The laughter never reaches his eyes, the shine that was the first thing I noticed about him was gone. I did that, I didn't trust my decisions I wavered back and forth to long and he had no idea.

Minutes tick by, but it could have been hours for all I know. The crowd falls away, I need to choose and choose now, stay or wait until later to let him know I am here. As I am about to turn and wait to do this in private he turns and sees me reflected in the mirror.

The look on his face is shock as proof to it the bottle he is holding slips from his hands and shatters. Jasper looks to Riley but he says nothing, he just keeps his shocked eyes trained on me. Jasper follows his gaze and mouths "Oh, fuck."

There is no turning back now, sliding into the same stool I sat in every time I came to work with him I sit and I wait.

**A/N: ok here is a bit to get you through, I am hoping to finish this story tonight. No promises, but I will do my best. Ok off to be mom be back tonight with much much more!**


	59. Chapter 59

I try to control the shaking, I try to keep my cool, I try to go on with work and ignore that he is there. Kicked back like he had never left. It pisses me off. What does he think he can roll back through town and I would fan girl all over him?

"Calm down man, I'll go wait on him." Jasper gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

I nod at him, there is no way I want to have this conversation here. "I'll take the party boys for ya, they still on Chuck shots?"

"Nope switched to cherry bombs." I cringe, great I see rainbow puke in my future.

After getting the rowdy boys another round of shots and warning the puke it the clean it I see Jasper shaking his head and coming down to my end of the bar.

"What?"

"He'll only order from you and is tight lipped about what's doin." Jas gives me a half shrug like it is no biggy.

"The bastard thinks he can just bully his way in. Always has." Pulling a draft of his beer I march down and place it in front of him. I turn and walk away with out a word.

"Well that was really mature of you." Jas says with a quirked brow.

"Fuck maturity I'm pissed."

The rest of the night drug on, it was three hours of feeling his eyes on me and doing my damnedest not to lay mine on him. Finally when i flip the lights on he is gone. I know he hasn't gone far but I can breath. I drag out closing up as long as possible, feelings are flooding in, everything I had locked away comes rushing back. I wipe away angry tears and take a shot for courage. When the last table is wiped down I know I can put it off any longer.

I see his smoke before I see him, I walk on by. I see his hot ash skid across the street as he jogs up beside me. I straighten my bag on my shoulder and raise my collar and keep on walking.

"Ri"

I speed up, I will not have this happen out in the streets. Reaching the alley he grabs my arm, I shake him off. I keep walking. I reach the stairs and he gets there first, his hulking body blocking the way. I am sure most would step back in terror at the menacing way he is standing, I am annoyed.

Widening my stance I cross my arms and wait. He sits. It's silent all that can be heard are distant cars and a few drunks stumbling home.

He still says nothing, I say nothing. He watches me, I glance from the ground to him. The alcohol backing me as courage and I speak first.

"Look great to see you and all, wait no no it isn't great to see you. It is painful and pisses me off. Listen as flattering as it is that you stopped in again, but I am not gonna be another one of you booty calls in another one of the towns you pass through. I know you "broke your rules" for me and I wish I could say I am flattered but I'm not. I'm hurt and pissed."

"You were never a booty call." he stood up defensively.

"Really, yeah that's right you fooled yourself for awhile right. Played at it then still planned to leave." I used the momentum of my anger to slip past him quickly and charge the stairs. As I speed up them he yelled up to me.

"I fell in love with you." That has me pausing on the stairs and seeing red.

"Fuck you." I spit out to him before marching in and slamming my door behind me.

**A/N: I know I know, why the hell, wtf and all that... Well as soon as my daughter gets home and safely to bed I will explain! 3 Muwahh!**


	60. Chapter 60

I sit in the hall watching his door. I hear nothing but the shower run then silence. I could have rushed through and laid it all out there, but I'm a dumb ass and had to sit and search for the words. There is a reason my masters is in art and not lit.

I go inside and drop off my bag, I see a few of my boxes have arrived but they sit untouched. I strip down to a pair of sleep pants, grab the six pack out of the fridge and I am back in the hall and I wait.

I drink a beer, then another. Nothing. My ass goes numb, I drink a third, not a peep. The buzz kicks in, the only thing I can hear is the buzz of the lights over my head. My eyes feel heavy, I think about the last time he shut me out. Then it wasn't painful, it was confusing, this time it hurts like hell but I know he needs to get out his anger at me. If he wouldonly come out and have at it.

My head lulls to the side.

"What the FUCK!" I scream awake as I am doused with ice water.

"No loitering, this is a locked building." Riley is standing above me, empty cup in his hand and a scowl on his face.

Wiping my face I slowly rise, coming to full height I slump against the wall before Riley can feel over powered. Though by the look on his face I don't think even at ful height he would back down from me.

"Not loitering, I live here, remember?"

His smile is cold, deadly, not like anything I have ever seen on his face. "Did, you did live here. Remember though no ties, wanderer?"

Before I can even reply he is back inside the door is closed and I am alone in the hall. Fuck this shit, he left me first! He didn't wait, he didn't ask questions. He left me first. He is at as much fault as I am here. He ran scared, for the second time, he left me with just as much heart ache. Why does he get to be all bitchy drama queen, what if I want to dip into my inner bitch?

What the fuck do I know about opening up and sharing? I never had to consider anyone but me before.

Punching his door once hard, I stalk back to my loft and look for my hammer and screw driver. We have danced this dance before. This time nothing is going to be held back.


	61. Chapter 61

"Original Emm." I glare sideways out the peephole. Does he really think that is going to work a second time?

Do I feel self righteous here? A bit yes. Do I feel the need to listen to him? No.. well maybe... no.. not at all.. nope... I am through.

He obviously is taking another turn in Rose and Rachel's shop. Needs to set up another booty call, a play at house... "Fuck him"

The voice in the back of my head replays the words outside, "I fell in love with you" do I believe it? He left.. of course I don't. He broke a rule, an iron clad rule, he is obligated to do another job and well...

It doesn't sound right even to my own ears but it is the only thing that makes sense. Sure I could listen but my stubborn side is mad and I want him to suffer, like I suffered.

So I lock myself in my loft, I turn the music up to drown out the voice I know will be coming from down the hall. And it does, I can't make out the words, but I hear the timber of his voice. The happiness that was there even when I refused to listen before is gone. There is no hope, there is no joy in any story he may be telling.

Shaking my head I keep myself busy with the mundane. This day was my only flaw in my work myself out of thinking plan. Sundays were the worst, Sunday was the last day we had. Then I ran.

He said he tried, he said he thought about it, he said he would ride out his commitment but that was all he could do. Okay logic tells me hear him out, classic lit and tv shows tell me I probably misunderstood.. but you know what, fuck logic. Pissed off people in love are, I guess shown exactly right. I have no rational thought, I have no patience I just have hurt and blinding anger.

Am I in the wrong too? well yes, but fuck it, I am gonna wallow in it. Torture myself until I get the balls to confront him... hell yes..

Fuck this, by eleven I go down a notch or two on the stereo. Noon I am scrubbing the stove, down another. I can almost make out what he is saying. I stare at the remote, tempted to lower it. NO, I will not let his old tricks work.

Two, another notch. I hear the sadness in his voice, I hear the heartbreaking rhythm of the ebbs and flow. I hover over the top of the remote. I up it three.

Hear him out, get it off my chest? Give a shit or suffer til he leaves again... His humorless chuckle rises above the lull in his animated chatter. Is he giving up? I panic...

I need to say what I need to say. What do I always tell my kids at school, if you can't talk it out you can't work it out. If the outcome is a loss of a friend or not. If you don't talk it out you never know. Even of the words hurt hearing them, you both need to give your side.

I think about it, I play some Green Day.. loud.. and I think some more... I cross the hall, I get almost to the door, I know from the lighting and the fact that I put on socks, opened the door very quietly that he can't hear my approach I hear him talking.

I pause.

"He never really cared if I shared with him but he talked nonstop about himself. I tried to tell him not to bother. From the start I wasn't into getting personal..."

I march back to my loft, what the hell, I stop myself, force myself to listen more.

"I really wish I had never even taken him home. He was the only client ever. I felt so bad when I heard he od'ed and was in treatment. I wanted to see him but they wouldn't..."

I let his voice fade out and my own thoughts of how I was, the power of falling in love with this man... I get it, all of it. If i had been weaker... I slam the door.. hard!


	62. Chapter 62

I listen to the ups and downs of his stereo playing, anything from heavy rock to emo shit all day and I talk. The last lull I give it a go and raise my voice, almost shouting. I tell the tale of the reason why my rule, I am sure Riley doesn't hear, or he did and doesn't want to as the music grows louder.

I know I have some groveling to do, but so does he. I know he loves me and I know he is scared. "Like I'm not?" I mutter to myself. I hear his door slam shut.

Slamming the fridge door closed I stalk out the doorway and slump down next to his door and shout over the music.

It worked before it will work again, right?

Not so far. I hear Green Day screaming out scum bag at me... yup nope.. the song cuts deep. I stalk back for another beer, I keep talking. I thought I heard him open the door... I thought I heard him breathing... nope I heard a slam and Scumbag... I march across the way...

"Fuck you too!" I scream and slam my fist at the closed door. I eat my food not tasting it. I clean the dishes and shatter a plate. I want something. Anything other then hiding, I want total telling off, no I don't want that, I just need something other then total disregard. I don't want to be reduced to someone you drown out. I want... Fuck I want his words.. he I fell in love too.. I want his, we'll give it a shot... I want the impossible right? Fuck no. Not impossible it is what is going to happen.

Stupid misunderstandings.. stupid hot heads... We are both in the wrong... fuck! I have no clue how to work this anymore.

At four the music stops, and I have hope. Thirty minutes later still nothing. But I still don't give up my hope. At five my hope soars as I hear the door open.

I strain to hear anything that may come down the hall. And then it does.

"I fell in love first. I fell in love with a voice and stories, I thought I could keep it to myself, we could stay friends and you would never know. If I didn't look at you, if I didn't have the face to go along with the words it would be easy. Sure it would sting when you were gone but we would still talk, on the phone, through texts, I would still have some form of you. Then I caved, I told myself I was in to deep to believe that lie anymore, if it was going to hurt anyway, I might as well make it count."

I hover in the door way, hanging on his every word. His words tear me apart.

"So when I heard the call.."

"But you heard.."

"Please let me finish. When I heard the call, yes I figured you were leaving, I thought I would cut my losses, it was easier to be the one leaving." there is nothing else he has to say so I take it as my time to speak.

"You heard wrong, I know what you heard and if you had only asked me. I had an offer to work in Texas for an extra six months beyond the two weeks I was committed to. But I also had an offer from Rose and Rachel, to partner with them. You heard me telling Rachel that I couldn't do it anymore. MEANING I couldn't do the wandering thing anymore. Meaning I was going to Texas and then coming back. Meaning I chose to stay, stay here... with you."

The next time I hear him I am shocked by the anger in his voice.

"You fucking asshole," my mouth drops open at his tone and the fact that he is standing in the open doorway. "that's just like you, selfish to the core."


	63. Chapter 63

"What the fuck! Selfish, I change my whole life around, turn everything up side down, for you! And I'm selfish?" My head is spinning, and I think that even though I love the man to death I could really kill him right about now.

"That's right selfish. You decided to bully your way in to my life, you decided you wanted to share every detail about your life with me whether I wanted to hear it or not. Even though you were planning on leaving. You decided that not me, oh but wait you are maybe changing your mind, you have several offers, you chose which one to take, never even giving me a chance to weigh in on wanting you here or not." one of his hands is clenched in a fist while the other is pointed thrusting at me in time to his words.

"But you did want me here right?" I am so confused.

"Of course I did, I wished for it every night. But I never knew it was a possible, you never gave the slightest indication that staying was an option. I knew your rules, I knew your history that is it."

He isn't the only one that has a beef, I let the anger I have had since he left rise up. Riley may think I am selfish and after his rant I can see ya maybe I am, but so is he.

"I'm not the only one that is selfish then. Sure I had my rules and past but you do too. At every turn you were looking for me to run, putting up walls from day one. Cause what? It is easier to be numb then fight? Easier to run off and lick your wounds like a hurt puppy then ask me to stay? Ask me about what you over heard?" I am stalking him now, he holds his ground. "No you chose to think you know what's going on. Some of that is my fault ya, but how about you put some effort in? From what I have seen you are the selfish one."

Now he takes a step towards me. "I've been selfish? You have a lot.." I cut him off, I am going to get me say.

"Yes selfish, I have done all the work here. I have been the one giving us a shot, I have been the one seeing the future for us. Yes I should have thought it through better, I should have included you in the offers and I am sorry for that but at least I was working towards something. I was fighting instead of just counting down the days." I am so close I am almost touching his chest with mine. "In your mind our relationship always had an expiration date, and for the first time I saw an endless future."

I have no idea what his reaction will be and I don't care, I grab him by the back of the neck and crash my lips to his.


	64. Chapter 64

We were both wrong, I see his point and I am sure he sees mine. But when his lips crash to mine I didn't give a shit if there was a right or wrong side. All I could remember is how much I missed this, how much I ached for him.

The kiss was sloppy and fierce, teeth knocked together and I may have bit his lip a bit to hard. I allow him to back me into the wall using his shoulders for leverage I climb on him wrapping my legs around him. His hands head straight to my ass and he grinds his erection into me.

The pressure of him against me causes my own erection to throb, I fear I am close to cumming in my pants.

Ripping my mouth from his I bite down on his neck and rock my self against him seeking delicious friction. Biting harder higher up on his neck his grip on my ass tightens and with a hard thrust we both scream out.

Sliding my legs down him our breathing is hard, the mood a bit less tense. We both slide down the wall.

"Did we really have a pathetic form of angry sex?" Emmett laughs out.

"Umm yeah, that was..." I laugh a little too and shake my head.

"I'm sorry." his thumb runs down my jaw.

"Me too." I cover his hand with mine. "I guess we were both wrong."

"We were but this time it will be different, right?" his look is filled with nothing but worry, and as tempted as I am to tease him along about giving him another chance I can't do it. I'm no good with out him.

"It will, because we won't let our heads get in the way to much." He nods in agreement. "So you fell in love huh?"

"Something like that, I am in love with you."

"Well I guess that makes it easy on me to tell you I love you too."

"Really now?" his eyes sparkle and his dimples deepen.

"Yup dumb shit that I am I went against all logic and went and let you get to me." I shrug like it's no biggy.

"So you're staying then? Like putting down roots and all?" I still can't let myself believe it.

"I am, Rose wants to stay home and Rachel will have a check in her hands in the morning. It's why I had to do the Texas job. I needed the cash to buy in to The Tatted Heart. As of tomorrow when I give her the check and sign on the dotted line I am a full partner. No backing out."

"Well I guess I'm stuck with you then." I smile so big my cheeks hurt.

His smile widens even more, "So it's early yet how about a shower and some make up sex? I mean we don't have to but I could really use a shower." he makes a big show of arranging himself in among the sticky mess.

"On one condition." I quirk my brow at him.

"Anything."

"You put in all your peircings."

His eyes get dark and he licks his lips. "I think I can handle that. Question is can you?"

Now I lick my lips and my breathing increases, all I can do is nod.

**A/N: Ok they're back together now! And the next chapter or two will probably be mostly lemons. I am in the mood tonight to write some PWP sooooo... yup, more in a few hours.**


	65. Chapter 65

I don't think he knew what to expect when he asked for all my metal in. Rooting around in my bag I find what I am looking for and toss it on the bed. It lasts with a weighted thump.

Holding out my hand to him I draw him up to his full height, which is half a head shorter then me, and give him a wink.

"Shower first. You go clean up at your place and I will shower here." for a minute he looks confused, almost hurt. "Believe me it will be worth it when you get back."

Riley's eyes shoot wide and he looks to the bed. His nod and rush to his shower have me laughing. It was almost always like that with him, laughter even in the hottest of moments.

Grabbing the velvet pouch off the bed I rush into the bathroom leaving the door open. It isn't that I did want him in the shower but it is easier to put some of my metal in and since it has been a while for some of them I didn't want to since and look like a sissy in front of Riley.

I make quick work of peeling my stained pants down my legs and getting under the hot spray. After a quick scrub of my body and hair I start with the easiest. Reaching to the back of the toilet where everything was laid out I drop my standard bars and pick up the silver rings, they aren't that special on their own but once I add the length of matching chain between them they can be a good time.

My PA slips in easily, it is one of the first body peircings I ever got and I have kept something in it more often then not. But the hafada isn't as easy but there is no needing to push through scar tissue it is open just tight, and given the area hard to do going blind. By the time I get all the metal in the area in I am half hard think about what Riley will think. I groan as I feel my head swelling and expanding over the hard metal running through it. I am tempted to give it a stroke or two but I need to hurry. Riley wanted to see them all and I am going to give it to him. Though most I rarely put in any more, I want to give him what he asked for.

Toweling off I hurry to put in my ear pieces, those shouldn't be much of a shock, nor the eyebrow. But the bull ring I can imagine he will hate, hell even I don't know why I did that one. But as I finish with the last one I look at my reflection, I smile huge and wonder how he will feel about these.

I catch his reflection behind me in nothing but a towel, a towel that is very tented in the front. I turn and smile at him and his beautiful square perfect jaw drops to the floor.

**A/N: Ok ok I said PWP, and it is coming, but I got a bit wrapped up in Em and is body jewelry. Can you blame me?... What's that? What is the finale ones he put in?...What does Riley think?... All right all right I am getting to it... lol Muwaha! 3**


	66. Chapter 66

It was uncomfortable as hell to peel off my pants but I did it as fast as possible with loosing as little skins as possible. The hot water and the suds soothe the last of the tension from my body. But the thought of what all he may be putting in has it returning in one spot. I ignore it and finish my rapid wash making sure to do a quick once over whit the razor and taking care of some less pleasant parts of being a gay man and a bottom. Once I am done with what I am sure is the quickest pre-sex-a-thon showers ever I dry completely and practically sprint across the hall.

Nearly taking out my toes on the coffee table I stumble to a stop at the bathroom door. I see the glorious waterfall on his back first, it splits in the center by a rock formation and spills down each side of his back, making it appear that the water is his wings. Following it down his body I am amazed by the tight muscles of his ass under the tightly stretched black terry cloth of the towel draped around his lean hips. I lick my lips. It has been to long since we have been together.

I follow his body back up taking in the strong colorful muscles of his arms. The red, blues and greens of the dragon up his right arm. The strong colors of battle scene at the foot of the castle rising up his left. The are nothing compared to the sight in the mirror.

The light catches the metal in his ears, from the daggers jutting out the bottom holes to the snakes weaving their way through the shell. The barbell at the arch of his brow to the stupid looking bullring in his nose. But then I gasp, I see set of black studs peircing each cheek right in the center of the dimples I love so so much.

My jaw drops, I know it does, the sight is intoxicating... "I.. I ... umm.." yup I make real sense right now. "Fuck!"

He laughs and turns and I feel like a cartoon animal with my eyes popping out of my head. He has replaced his bells for rings and a dark silver chain catches the light as it sways across the colors of his chest. Some inner beast in me takes over and I meet his eyes.

"You in the bed now! And lose the nose ring!" He must enjoy my order because his nose flares, his eyes narrow, and he is reaching to remove the offending piece as he pauses then marches past me.

I snag the towel from his hips as he passes and I see him shutter as the air brushes over his tight cheeks. I can't wait to see what is on the other side.


	67. Chapter 67

I laugh to myself when he tells me to lose the nose piece, I knew he would hate it. I'm not sure why, I think we are just that in tune. I gladly ditch it as I head out of the bathroom. Steel hard and aching just over the dominance he takes.

The towel drops mere inches from the bed. I give him a little show even if I am not sure if he is watching or not. I actually have never taken this roll and it is thrilling. Not something I would think about doing a lot but the surge of adrenalin in pleasing my man has my cock pulsing even harder.

By the time I am laying prone on the bed, stretched out as I hope he wants, my huge body somehow feels less then what it should be, the worry in the back of my mind worries. What if it isn't what he expected, what if it turns him off...

The growl I hear from the doorway has me twitching. I dare a look, he is looking me over, head to toe. I feel odd being in the submissive position but I thrill at the new take on it all. I am usually the hunter but for Riley I will gladly play the role of the prey.

"I have to say I don't know where to start." he stalks to the bed, the deep growl in his voice has me tingle from head to toe feeling each peircing as his eyes gloss over them. "I think from the bottom up."

I close my eyes, I feel the first brush of his finger tips, his long slender fingers, brushing from my heels up my calves. The bed dips and his lips start at my calf, just below the knees. His tongue slips out and the rough top of it laps at me me inch by inch.

"Oh Fucking Hell!" I can't help what falls from my mouth. All I can think is why I didnt let him take charge before. My legs fall open as his shoulder move between and push them apart.

"Mmm I like this one." he hums as he licks at the barbell between my sac and the base of me cock. I shiver as he sucks it in and gives a gentle tug, followed by another lapping of his tongue.

The rough pad of his tongue licks me from base to tip, his lips meeting the metal beneath and curving around the top of it that disappears back into the top.

I can't help it my fingers thread though his hair and I try to shove his mouth down. I try to get the relief that I need. His teeth tug at the ring gently and I back off. I have rarely let someone go down on me with it in, but I know I will many times with Riley.

He looks up as I tug at his hair... the look on his face is power hungry and I relish in it. His eyes dart from my face to the chain swaying across my chest. He smiles. If I was a smaller man I would be scared. Hell I am scared anyway even though I out weigh him by a good 80 pounds.

But I trust.

His fingers never pull to hard, only to guide me where he wants. The pulls are only for my lips to meet his as he crawls up my body. His thighs part as he pulls me to sitting and he sits astride my lap. Our mouths meet for a brief moment before he licks each of my dimples.

his legs spread wider over me, his ass blooms around me. I dip lower sliding across his sac and popping out and sliding past where I want to be.

"Tests?" he is breathless.

"all clear.. you.. 18 months"

"Clear two years"

"Thank god"

I hear a click a moan and then feel the most amazing thing ever. The tight squeeze, I hear the sharp intake of breath, I feel the pause. then the sinking. I am fully engulfed in him.


	68. Chapter 68

I'm not sure how I held out this long. In the beginning I thought I would be the one on my back. Then what followed I was sure I would be the one driving it home. But as I sit here straddling him I find myself in great power. I have Emmett under me, I have him at my mercy with my hands on his chain, I have his powerful body between my thighs. I am in full power.

Something about that only has me pausing mere moments before I sink down and feel a new, thrilling and oh how have I missed out on this all my life, feeling.

I have never in my life felt skin on skin there and I hear a gasp, I realize I tugged a bit to hard, I panic.

"It's okay baby, just ease up." I pause and his thrust up has me ok again. I release his chain and look down into his face. He is totally blissed out and in as great as a place as I am.

His hands grab my hips, mine go to his shoulders, I seel the leverage I need. Rolling again and again I thank the gods for his steel. If his colors weren't enough his steel now hitting every right spot would be.

"Oh.. god.. ohhh, fuck.. really? ohh..." I can't even begin to fathom I am lost in the roll of his hips and the downward rolling motion of my own.

I pause with him buried deep, a roll back of my hips has his lower peircing screaming out and shooting all over his stomach and chest.

"Thank God!" he screams at the same tie, and I feel him shoot off inside me. He holds my hips so I am fitted to him tightly and I feel pulse after pulse in me deep. The sensation of him filling me up has me releasing another spurt.

I collapse on his chest my nose nuzzled somewhere deep in his neck.

"Fuck!" breathes into me.

"Okay, fighting not good, you leaving sucks! But that FUCK, yes please and may I have some more..." his laugh radiates through me to the core and I can't help but laugh with him while raising a little again. He twitches in me and he raises his brows.

"You work tomorrow baby."

I roll my hips on him. "I still have a few sub days."

Em's hands go right to my hips and his steel buried deep in me has me screaming out with in minutes.

Morning comes to soon and the reality of waking up to late has robbed me of the chance of calling a sub. But I don't wake Emmett, instead I stare at him. All the muscle, all the ink and all the metal.

Is he the man I always thought I would end up with? Well no. Is he everything I ever wanted? Hell yes! Will we survive? Who the hell knows! Am I okay with that? I better be!


	69. Chapter 69

I feel his eyes on me, from the edge of the bed I can feel as they go over every inch of my exposed skin, even where they linger at what is under the sheet across my hips. I smile into the pillow, "You just gonna look or are you gonna play with me?"

I feel the bed dip and frown when I feel the brush of a button down shirt across my bare back as his lips kiss from shoulder to neck.

"Sorry sweets, we slept to late, I have to go in."

"Nooooo" I whine flipping over and crushing him to my chest. "Don't go, say screw it and play hooky."

He laughs at my childish tone. "Sorry that isn't how it works, I can't just be a no show and it is to late to call in a sub." he pulls my head down and kisses away the frown line in my forehead. "But I will be done by 3:30 and I don't have to go into the bar tonight."

"Date night then?" he shakes his head. Pushing me off him he stands and straightens the wrinkles out of his work clothes.

"Can't be out late, it's a school night."

"Crap I thought I wouldn't hear that phrase again til I was telling my own kids." I laugh and he gasps. His eyes are as large as saucers but the quickly smile and he launches himself at me.

Wrapping my arms around him I laugh. "What's gotten into you?"

"I just found one more reason to love you." ok I'm baffled here, but that is nothing new with him. Then it hits me what I said.

"Oh the kids thing? Yes I want kids. At least a couple." Pecking his lips I push him off me. "Now get to work or your gonna be late." With a swat on the ass I shove him out the door.

...

Fanning from above me brings me to. "Did she, did she really say twins?"

Riley is above me, laughing through tears. The laughing voice from behind him has me sitting up.

"The bigger they are hun Riley?" squatting down beside me Rose hands me a series of pictures. "Here ya go big guy, looks like you better double up on everything.

The past five years have been nothing but a series of surprises. From the minute I walked into that bar all those years ago, to falling in love with Riley, to staying. Moving into a loft we bought together, our wedding, Rose agreeing to carry a baby for us. This is the biggest of all. Yes we talked about kids as in more then one but at one time."

Riley slides behind me and rests my head on his shoulder. "You ok sweets? Do you need an ice pack? You went down pretty hard."

I shake my head as I look at the pictures in my hands, they are nothing more the fuzzy lumps, but the word say it loud and clear. Twin A, Twin B.

"I think I will be fine."

Rose slaps a beer in my hand and sits in front of us. "Really sorry if you guys aren't happy about this, but you knew the chances." I cut her off.

"Don't even go there Rose, we are thrilled, shocked as shit but thrilled." Riley tightens his arms around me and kisses my neck.

She smiles and a tear slips down her cheek, she swipes it away. "Stupid hormones." She watches us with a watery smile. "You two will be amazing parents."

Looking up at Riley he is crying too, briefly I kiss him. "Yeah I thik will will make kick ass parents."

**A/N: Ok folks only one more chapter to go. I know I know. It will be up later tonight, with many thanks!**


	70. Chapter 70

What started as a fight over which bassinet went on whose side ended up here. He tackled me thinking his size would give him the leverage, my determination was mine. Pinning my hands over my head he pleaded and demanded. I was turned on and thrust my hips up and now... mmm now I am gripping the head board as I roll my hips over him. Leaning down over his face his tongue dances over my chest. I moan and pause my downward thrust, he grunts and pushes up.

Ripping his mouth from my nipple he growls at me. "Fucking move Ril, please, I'm so close." I feel him twitch as proof to how close he is, my own twitching in response to the feeling of him deep in me. I groan and then hear it again. Then he hears it too.

"We can finish, please..."

"But, you know it is any day now." I counter but I really want to finish.

"Two minutes, please, two is all I need." he thrusts up and I give in.

"This will probably be the last time we have the energy." He groans and I roll my hips over him.

We both drown out the sound of the vibrating phones as he flips me over. Grabbing my thighs, spreading them wide and high he pounds into me. "Come on baby, stroke it for me." he orders and I am more then happy to oblige.

"That's it, fuck Ri you are so fucking hot. Yes! Oh fuck yes." He sees the signs of how close I am and captures my raging cock stroking it and angling it to the direction he likes sometimes. Two more thrust and I am thrown over the edge shooting hot long ropes of cum. His angle and the arch of his back has him spilling into me as he catches a few spurts of my cum on his tongue.

We are both laying spent and sweaty on the bed. Breathing slowing...

"You want to check or should I?" he has the chicken shit look on his face. He never has had the balls to deal with Rose. "Fine, but you owe me."

"Anything." he kisses my shoulder and I roll over grabbing my phone.

"Fuck how long were we at it?" he shrugs and shakes his head. "22 missed calls and 17 voice mails."

I see the panic in his face and he jumps up grabbing clothes and running to the bathroom to start the shower. As I hit the send button and wait for it to go through, he runs through naked as the day he was born. He stubs his toe on the door frame but doesn't give it more then a second before I see him running into the nursery. I laugh as I enter my voice password and listen to the first of many messages. The last from Rose has me moving, Rose's voice is clearly in pain but her spunk is so there.

"Get the cock out of your ass and get your ass to the hospital. They girls are on the way and you need to be here so I can curse your ever lovin asses about how fucking much you owe me!"

I calmly make my way off the bed and to the shower. Stepping in I hear Emmett having his panic attack. I have had many, I have been the frazzled on since Rose and Rach said yes. I have been the one freaking out from everything about who do we get to be the donor, a mom at my school agreed before she was even asked, to who would donate the sperm. It was me do to his family history of congenital heart heart defects. Then it was over carseats and safe cribs and formulas.

But now, now it is Emmett freaking out. I smile at that. He has been the easy, breezy now, damn it he can freak the fuck out. Our baby girls are on the way and that is all that matters now.

"Are you done? I am not gonna greet my girls with cum breath and ass sex all over me."

I laugh my ass off. "Baby calm down, this will take hours." I hear him gruff at that.

"Just get out and dressed and make sure Rose's bag is packed." I finish my rinse as he pushes me out.

"You know baby that Rachel has this covered right? They have been through this three times now." I dry off and brush my teeth, and he yells at me over the shower noise.

"Not our babies she hasn't, get moving."

I laugh as I calmly dress and make sure his ocd hasn't missed anything. Like I expected all is covered.

It hadn't.

As I knew hours and hours of waiting happened. Rose was a pro at child birth. Her and Rachel had 3 at home and we have been there for the last two, but twins took longer. By the time she was pushing we were both feeling the pain as she crushed our hands. Rachel was dabbing her forehead, her smile was that of full on 'your turn bitches'.

Her "I like this pampering part more" had us showing respect over how many times she has been through this. My finger tips were numb.

The first cry had tears stinging my eyes, a few minutes later and possibly a few broken fingers later a second cry brought more tears and a shock when the doctor announce.

"And it's oops.. a boy!" his laugh was a bit uncomfortable as he had 100% assured us that it was two girls since 22 weeks. It doesn't phase either of us as we look down at the slimy messy screaming little boy.

We both bend down and kiss Rose on the head and cry our thank yous.

Rachel spoke up through tears first, "Thank you both, maybe giving birth to twins will give us a year or two before she wants another."

We all laugh knowing that will probably not be the case. Rose is addicted to being a mom, being pregnant and having babies. We are fine with that even Rachel is, though she has her griefs she is still happy to give Rose, her family she has always wanted. And Rachel always caves with little effort on Rose's part when she wants another.

At Rose's command the babies both have another bottle of pumped milk. She has been such a mamma hen with the twins and has been a pumping machine for them. We owe these women more then we can ever repay. As they finish the milk and are still crying we give each other the look. Billy screams and draws his legs up tight to his abdomen. As if on the same wave length Min does the same.

In the end, ok parenthood was tough shit. From the start, we had the names picked and then... whoops! We need a boys name, that was easy... which was a surprise. We thought it was two girls so boys names never crossed our minds. But in the end we settled on William Francis, his father and my grandfather, and Billy was named. The girl...not so easy. We had picked out girls names and though we knew Jasmine or Min as we now call her, because Jazz prove to be awkward since she was named after my best friend. It was always just the middle was a battle. How do we choose? In the end we went with what probably down the road will give her grief but we chose the place that will have for ever brought us together.

So as Jasmine Heart rests against his shoulder and William Francis is on mine and we walk up and down the hall, tired as hell, we catch each others eyes. There is a young couple of guys moving in, box after box they haul in and we each give them the sorry look but they just smile. Hopefully they will be okay for the next few months of this. We don't know what it is but they only settle after the hallway tango. There is no way I would do this with anyone else.

...

"He's to young..."

"Stop! They have known each other all their lives. I think they know."

"No they don't! They are way to young. I mean come on, they haven't even been to college, spring break. All that MTV bull shit that they are suppose to go through."

"Babe! Chill the fuck out!" Emmett's firm tone has me coming back to reality back to the now.

I look at him, a few more lines line his eyes, his now dark hair is silver at the temples and the dimples fill out his cheeks a bit more with deeper creases that reach his eyes now but his smile has. But the dimples have the same calming effect as they always have.

"Sorry." As shocked as I am, ok not really he brings me down to earth once again.

We battled once upon a time about who got the the pink who got the blue . That was still a fight when it was pink or blue. We fought over make up and when it was okay and when it was not to date. We even fought over who and what over prom shit. But this this was our boys biggest feat. He was only 21, sure he has known Charlie all his life but really.. "He's so young."

"He is young, but he knows. He knows that there is no one else." his words are sure but I see the bounce of his leg. Twenty years plus and he still has his tells. I grab him and kiss him soundly.

"Don't worry, I will let him go, but if Min even thinks about getting hitched..."

He cuts me off, "I will be first in line with the shot gun baby."

**A/N: ok so thank you all for really sticking by me with this one. The boys down the hall with the babies needed their story told. And yup this is it! If you don't know what I am talking about it is in my o/s Good-bye, hello. Thank you so much for all the love! I have some amazing and loyal readers and reviewers and I am so thankful for each and everyone!**

**I will be back to writing Steel tomorrow til it is complete, no worries there, and big surprises. **


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